For Better

I remember a professor I had in college who taught, among other things, a Marriage and Family class. This class was a must among Liberty "want-the-perfect-mate-and-marriage" seekers and was nearly always full...Somehow I manage to secure a spot around my junior year. Dr. Captain (yes, that was his name) got us all in a tizzy one day when he said something to the effect of, "Why do you think God has one person 'out there' for you? And if you don't marry the right person, then you'll be miserable forever? I'm sure, under that theory, that someone, somewhere, has married the wrong person...then the person they were supposed to marry married someone else who was the wrong person...and so it goes. God might have an ideal in mind for you, but you can make marriage work with just about anyone"...or something like that...which destroyed the present struggle I was having regarding the multiple guys I was dating and trying to figure out if they were the "right one".

There was a Christian speaker named Pam Stenzle who brought it all home for me one day when she said in a lecture, "My marriage isn't perfect...because I'm in it. You take two imperfect people and try to have a perfect marriage? Never gonna happen..." That fact has marinated in my head for years and often challenges me when I get frustrated or at my wits end with something matrimonial...

Yet...yet...I do firmly believe that God orchestrated the circumstances of my life and put the stamp of approval on me to marry and stay married to Mark...my first friend, my first kiss, my first date...you get the picture. Our marriage isn't perfect (because I'm in it!) but as I look back over the last 16 years we've been together, I see God working on me through him, growing me, challenging me, and stretching me in ways I would never have considered.

Case in point--the picture taken above is us yesterday on our way to Dover Downs to watch NASCAR w/ my brother in law and a co-worker of Mark's. If you told me 16 years ago that one day I'd be sitting among throngs of NASCAR fans watching 20+ cars speed around a racetrack for 3 1/2 hours I'd've told you there'd be a better chance of me winning the lottery. Yet there I was...for the 4th time.

Or a few years ago when Mark called me at work and asked, "How would you feel about jumping out of an airplane in 2 weeks?" Yeah, right! Yet, 2 weeks later, there I was, plunging through the air with a radiant joy.

Or that we'd be wearing beads in New Orleans...even when wedding plans had been cancelled for someone and we didn't have to go (Me=Great! We save money! Mark=Let's go and have fun!)

Or that we'd take annual trips with the family to visit different baseball stadiums...which I could really care less about (baseball, I mean).

Or that we'd buy a house, own a dog, plant a garden, spend a ridiculous amount of money on a dinner in Puerto Rico (going on cruise #2, which I never thought I'd do)...Do you see the trend?

I've always been more of a homebody. Perch me in a chair with a good book and I'm fine. I like routine, predictability, planning, etc. Mark is pretty much the opposite--let's go! Sounds like fun-I'm there! He has learned over the years to allow adventure plans to marinate with me for a while before I commit (Him: Wanna go to NASCAR? Jump out of a plane? Go to Atlanta? Me: No...well...let me think about it.) I love that God paired me with someone who could stretch me beyond me comfort zone and allow me the blessing of being able to store up a wealth of cool experiences.

But beyond the doing...there are other ways he has stretched me...Knowing what's it like to be able to say anything to him and not be afraid of what he might think...Knowing that he has my back...Knowing that even on my worst days, he still sees through me to my soul and thinks I'm beautiful...Knowing we don't have to like the same things, do the same things, or be in the same place all the time...Knowing that our love together has no conditions, that it's 'understood'.

The best part of yesterday was when we were coming home on the ferry. I wasn't sure if I'd even wanted to go on this trip when we were planning it a few months back but I thought to myself, "Why the heck not? A day of hanging with Mark and fun!" I told him I was glad that I went and he agreed..."I like you", he says, "I like hanging out with you"...which was nice to hear because at times I feel like I'm boring...but beyond the "love" that should surely be present in any marriage, it's nice to hear that you're "liked" as well.

Sorry, Dr. Captain...I dispute your theory...I did marry the "right one".