I am a creature of routine. Anyone who knows me knows this all too well. I like order, the same, predictability, my own personal Groundhog Day, if you will. I can make adjustments as needed but sudden interruptions/disruptions have the potential to derail me and make me uncomfortable (something I am trying to work on but hey--I'm me!)
I got up a few mornings ago at 3:30am and began moving through the motions of the dark o'clock hours I enjoy each day because they are mine, it's quiet, and I can do my thing. HOWEVER, on this particular morning, I noticed Mark's side of the bed was unoccupied (?) and he was on the computer in the next room. I peeked around the corner-"Are you ok?" Mark: "Can't turn my head off". Ok...I headed downstairs to make coffee and do my normal Bible reading/quiet time...and he followed me. He perched himself in the kitchen and began talking...about the car he wants to get, about car features, about money, about leasing vs. buying...I must have had a look on my face because at one point he said,"I'm sorry to intrude on your morning", to which I replied,"You don't have to be sorry". In my head I kept repeating,"Priority of covenants, priority of covenants"...
Slave to routine that I am, how necessary was it that I have that quiet time with God (that I do every morning, EVERY MORNING) versus taking time to listen to my beloved talk out his stress over a current situation? Was God gonna be mad? Orchestrate a flat tire or bee sting to get my attention--"Hey, Jen! You didn't spend time with ME today!" Not that Mark is more important than the Lord, but in that moment, in "MY" precious moment, he needed to take priority. Because I love him. Because he was stressed. Because that's marriage (or at least, in my thinking, that's the "priority of covenants"). So I listened...and tried to fix my face because he said again,"I'm sorry to mess up your morning". Me: "It's fine". Mark:"You seem perturbed". Me:"I'm adjusting". And in the end I was glad that I gave him that time, let him talk out his thoughts, show him that he was more important that my routine. And I felt really good about me.
Until I was halfway down the road a half hour later, running and working up a good pre-sunrise sweat, and it hit me like a lightning bolt: I couldn't give up any of my precious exercise time to do a quiet time? Yikes! What a humble! Here I was all prideful that I had something cool to post about keeping covenants and instead of rearranging my routine a bit to read my Bible after I talked with Mark, I looked at the clock and thought,"Time to run!" :( Goodness...
That thought stayed with me all day...and continues to be a challenge...I remember thinking one time that if I spent as much time in the Word as I do working out, how much better would I be for it? We're supposed to give God our first fruits, a tenth of treasure, but, as I understand it, of time and talent as well. So, in a 24 hour day, do I give Him 2+ hours? No, I don't...but I do often spend that much time working out : / Not sure what to conclude about all this except that thank God I'm still a work in progress AND that I am convicted about such things...
I got up a few mornings ago at 3:30am and began moving through the motions of the dark o'clock hours I enjoy each day because they are mine, it's quiet, and I can do my thing. HOWEVER, on this particular morning, I noticed Mark's side of the bed was unoccupied (?) and he was on the computer in the next room. I peeked around the corner-"Are you ok?" Mark: "Can't turn my head off". Ok...I headed downstairs to make coffee and do my normal Bible reading/quiet time...and he followed me. He perched himself in the kitchen and began talking...about the car he wants to get, about car features, about money, about leasing vs. buying...I must have had a look on my face because at one point he said,"I'm sorry to intrude on your morning", to which I replied,"You don't have to be sorry". In my head I kept repeating,"Priority of covenants, priority of covenants"...
Slave to routine that I am, how necessary was it that I have that quiet time with God (that I do every morning, EVERY MORNING) versus taking time to listen to my beloved talk out his stress over a current situation? Was God gonna be mad? Orchestrate a flat tire or bee sting to get my attention--"Hey, Jen! You didn't spend time with ME today!" Not that Mark is more important than the Lord, but in that moment, in "MY" precious moment, he needed to take priority. Because I love him. Because he was stressed. Because that's marriage (or at least, in my thinking, that's the "priority of covenants"). So I listened...and tried to fix my face because he said again,"I'm sorry to mess up your morning". Me: "It's fine". Mark:"You seem perturbed". Me:"I'm adjusting". And in the end I was glad that I gave him that time, let him talk out his thoughts, show him that he was more important that my routine. And I felt really good about me.
Until I was halfway down the road a half hour later, running and working up a good pre-sunrise sweat, and it hit me like a lightning bolt: I couldn't give up any of my precious exercise time to do a quiet time? Yikes! What a humble! Here I was all prideful that I had something cool to post about keeping covenants and instead of rearranging my routine a bit to read my Bible after I talked with Mark, I looked at the clock and thought,"Time to run!" :( Goodness...
That thought stayed with me all day...and continues to be a challenge...I remember thinking one time that if I spent as much time in the Word as I do working out, how much better would I be for it? We're supposed to give God our first fruits, a tenth of treasure, but, as I understand it, of time and talent as well. So, in a 24 hour day, do I give Him 2+ hours? No, I don't...but I do often spend that much time working out : / Not sure what to conclude about all this except that thank God I'm still a work in progress AND that I am convicted about such things...
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