Prisoners

One of my kids did something stupid and naughty in February. 3 days later I was sitting across a table from him in jail, trying to give some comfort, praying for mercy, and vowing to support him through the long process ahead. Yesterday I received a letter from him saying that he "copped out" (took a deal) and will now spend the next 6 years and 8 months behind bars. He just turned 19 in March.

The idea of people in jail was kinda foreign to me until 2001 when a kid I was close to got locked up. As I took the 3+ year journey with him (and many others along the way) I became quite knowledgeable about the justice system, the inner goings-on of jails and prisons, and, quite frankly, how terrible the ordeal can be. I will say that I have never not thought any of these kids deserve some kind of accountability for their actions, but have always prayed for mercy. And I have found some brighter areas among the gloom of corrections--a few warm hearted officers, programs that actually offer some kind of usable skill once released, the fact that I can walk into our local county jail, flash an ID, and see whomever I want, the ability to prepare an "emergency box" of basics for a new arrival at a halfway house and tuck in a few bags of M&Ms, card games, and other "stocking stuffers" to add some cheer.

It is hard--so hard--to know what to say to a kid who is facing years behind the wall...even harder when you get those letters that speak of atrocities that occur, the longing for basic things like good soap, the annoyance towards a family member who promised to send money months ago so they could buy commissary and "Ms. Jen, can you please call my Mom and remind her to send money?" or "Ms. Jen can you please call my Mom and ask her to come see me? I haven't had any visitors in 3 years..."and the one I seem to struggle with most, "I've decided to become ____ "(Muslim, a Blood, a Crip, etc)

My aim, for however long they are in there, is to release them from the bars across their heart. To assure them that while they feel alone, desperate, depressed, and defeated, they have a God who loves them and is right there with them...To get them to understand that their circumstances are temporary and that they have the opportunity to begin again...That God can give them the strength to get through..I want them to become Paul and Silas, able to sing hymns at midnight...

I'm not lame enough to think that all this "support" results in permanent life change (the rate of recidivism of these kids alone proves that) But it's not about what I do...I feel led to serve them as Jesus would and leave the results to him.

I got a letter a few weeks ago from a kid I met in 2001 when he was 18. In and out of jail and prison for years. He even did 200+ days in solitary and made me a bracelet out of staples shaped like hearts. I haven't spoken to him in about 5 years but every so often I'd think of him, look him up in the prison system to see if he's in or out, and send him a card if he's in. His letter was a nice shot in the arm of affirmation for me. "You always find me...you have always made me feel loved, supported, and prayed for"...and with joy he announced that he was being released in a day or two, and would return to another state to live with his girlfriend. He included a picture of the two of them, him now 28 years old and looking older than his years.

Some of these kids will end up as prisoners...maybe even people YOU know...but they do not have to remain prisoners of hardened hearts, of habits, or of sinful natures...I can only keep praying that whatever seeds I am able to plant will find even a small patch of 'good soil" in their hearts, and that someone along the way will come and water after me...