Jennifer Williams

When I married Mark and became Jennifer Williams, I was actually the second Jennifer Williams in his family. His niece was also Jennifer Williams and from then on became known as "the original" Jennifer Williams. As I approached her at her bridal shower today, she said, "There's the other Jennifer Williams", to which I replied, "Soon to be the only!" and her face changed...it started to sink in, like she hadn't thought about it before...not a negative discovery, just a new one.

As she sat and opened her boxes of towels, cookware, and kitchen gadgets, I reflected back to 14+ years ago when I sat for 2 bridal showers and opened similar boxes...The joy of real pots and pans! 3 sets of sheets! Something silky to wear on my wedding night! An afghan lovingly made by my mother-in-law to be...How I remember setting up shop in our apartment a few months prior to our wedding. Mark was living with his mom but I was a few blocks away, nesting for our new life together. before the shower, I made do with garage sale plates and things I'd discovered in the attic of our apartment, left behind by tenants long departed. I was so excited to cook a meal for Mark in that little "Brady-Bunch-orange-and-red kitchen". I told him we were having Mexican. He arrived and I served on mismatched plates with pride. He took one bite and said, "What is this?" I said, "Well, it's meatless Mexican!" (I wasn't eating meat at the time and thought he'd also enjoy the fake meat crumble stuff I'd purchased) He kinda made a face and pretended to like it.Later on, we sat down and made a giant list of everything he liked to eat and did not ever want to see in our kitchen (and "crumble" was on the top of the list!)

At 24, I had a distinct picture of how I thought "marriage" would be-mine, anyway. MANY years I had dreamed of the Better Homes and Gardens home, stay-at-home-mom-with-one-kid-on-each-hip, clean house, nutritious meal on the table at 5:30pm, spending my days tending to my children and keeping a proper house. I even bought a bowl (which I still have) to serve ambrosia in for holidays like my grandmother did (although to this day I have never made ambrosia nor have I ever used the bowl for anything because, when I bought it, it was the ambrosia bowl...)

How quickly I learned that God has HIS plans...and His aren't always in alignment of what I thought I wanted. My marriage has not been what I expected, what I had thought I wanted for all those years, or what I tried to make it into during the first year or two. Work schedules often dictate interactions, infertility puts a "no" on children, double-income-no-kids open many doors of opportunity to do things I never would have imagined I'd do (cruises, skydiving, vacations,--heck--even the big screen TV). I never thought I'd fall in love with homeless kids and be thankful that I'm better suited to care for an 18 year old than a 2 year old (No diapers! No middle of the night ear infections! No wondering how to pay for college!)I never thought I'd treasure Thursday "date nights" because we work opposite shifts and rarely spend more than 2 hours awake together at a time. I never thought I'd learn to love to spend time hanging around different cities of America, sampling regional cuisine, visiting baseball parks, and creating wonderful memories with all the colorful members of Mark's family (OUR family)

I don't know what the original Jennifer Williams is thinking about marriage...In addition to the bake ware and silicone muffin liners that I gave her for her shower today I also gave her a book titled "Married for Life" that had stories from folks married 50+ years and how they did it (it also had scripture on each page, which was the real reason I bought it). I married Mark because I loved him, I knew God had put His stamp of approval on it and, at the end of the day, all the other "stuff" I thought would be part of this union that isn't pales in comparison to that. I married him for better or for worse, no matter what. Divorce is not an option--ever. I love what God has allowed our marriage to be up to this point...and as excited as I am for Jenny to be starting out her journey with a man she loves, I'm more excited to see where God continues to lead Mark and I on our journey through this life together...