Birthday Cake Part 2

Thursday I did an exercise with our new YouthBuild applicants (and half of our current class) called Power Struggle. The goal of the exercise is to see how you relate to others, what you have in common, how to respect the differences among the group, and challenge participants to be honest. The kids were standing in a straight line and I'd call out different categories;"Step out of line if you've ever been in foster care", "Had a family member die of gun violence", "Been out of the country", "Met someone famous", etc. I'd ask the group who stepped out more questions about their experiences but also ask those who had not stepped out of line how they felt about not being part of those experiences. It's a powerful thing.

So on a whim, I said,"Step out of line if you've never had a birthday cake on your birthday", and two youth stepped forward. I asked the rest of the group how they felt about it and they responded with, "Sad", "That's a shame", etc. I asked the two who stepped forward how they felt about being the only ones of the group who'd never had a birthday cake...The one young man who had grown up in and out of foster care said it didn't bother him (his tone said otherwise) and the other young man said that his birthdays were celebrated by a parent (usually mom since dad was in and out of jail) handing him money and saying,"Go get yourself something". I got a pit in my stomach and felt a wave of compassion and sadness for those two who had never had the joy of their own birthday cake.

Our new case manager (who is FULL of great ideas) pulled me aside later and suggested that since Friday was our last day and we were ordering a pizza lunch for the kids, why don't we get a birthday cake for the two guys? OF COURSE! What a great idea!

On Friday morning she arrived with 2 beautifully decorated sheet cakes, one for each kid, complete with their names, sparklers, and candles. The kids were busy stuffing their faces with pizza and chips while the staff made a huddle around the cakes so they couldn't see us lighting the candles. When the moment arrived, we burst into "Happy Birthday" and carried the cakes to where the two guys were sitting, the other students realizing what we were doing and joining us in song.

They were both stunned, to say the least. The one more out going young man had a huge grin from ear to ear. The other started shaking his head back and forth and wouldn't look at us for a while, even as we sat his beautiful cake before him. We then realized that he was fighting back tears and for a split second I thought maybe we had goofed and this was way too much for him to handle...After a few hugs and cheers from his girlfriend and other youth around him, he blew out his candles, composed himself, and proceeded to say thank you more times than I could count. A few students who had been absent the day before and had missed the exercise asked him,"When's your birthday?" and he replied with a smile,"October", and then explained why he'd been given a cake.

This one simple act transformed us all...the new applicants were floored that a group of adults would do something like this for a "street kid"("Is this what you all do in YouthBuild?") and reaffirmed their reasons for applying. The current students rallied around both young men and celebrated with them. The staff relished the opportunity to show love and support and, hopefully, some amount of healing to two youth who had never had someone think enough of them to mark their beginning of a new year of life with a time-honored tradition.

And me? I just felt blessed...Blessed that I had enough sense to hire a staff person who would suggest getting cake for the guys...blessed that I have a team of staff who all jumped on board and helped make it happen...blessed that get the opportunity to see transforming moments like this in my work day...

One of my staff (who is a believer) was wiping tears away and talking with another student who was teasing her, "Why you cryin', Ms. ___?" The staff gave her a hug and responded,"Because this is real"...And it is...Love, compassion, care, support, encouragement--it's all real...and when we put action to those words and not just talk about feeling them, then we are living out the gospel. I know that Matthew 25:35 talks about "When I was hungry you gave me something to eat"...I happen to believe that giving a street kid a birthday cake counts too!