I have found through working at Covenant House that you have "heart people" and "head people". Heart people tend to make decisions based on feeling, emotions, immediate reactions...head people tend to think critically, "what does the rule/policy/process say", and reach a decision based on facts or what is in print. Most people have a little of both but lean more one way than the other. Different situations call for different "leans" (more towards heart or more towards head) based on the situation...To have an effective team, you need to have both...and sometimes this can cause conflict.
My team made a rule that if young people didn't show up for their interview appointment without calling, they did not get a second chance. Period. We are trying to be a bit more strict this year and sticking to "the rules" (I like to say "guidelines"...which often gets ME in the hot seat!) lest students take advantage of the "heart" people vs the "head" people.
Student A calls a few minutes before his/her appointment time and says that he/she can't get there--the person who was supposed to loan him/her the money to get there didn't show up and he/she has no bus fare...so...? I pose the question to the team--what do we do here? Hearts and head collide..."See if he/she can come later!" "He/she had 5 days to prepare for this!" etc etc. Hearts prevailed and we asked the young person to try to come up with funds and be there by 3pm. He/she said he'd/she'd be there.
Student B never showed up for his/her appointment. No call, no show. A staff member even spotted him/her during a brief break on a nearby corner talking to a group of applicants. It's a wrap. He/she is done.
Until a few hours later when he/she shows up...can they still interview? I make a quick decision and tell the student to return towards the end of the day.
Student A calls back...He/she is watching children and there is no one else available to watch them while they come to the appointment. So...?Hearts plead--"At least he/she is calling!" "He/she is trying!" The team is divided and we (I?) decide to let Student A return tomorrow for an interview. A cloud of tension decends...
Student B shows up late in the day, states he/she was in the hospital, states he/she went to a different location for the interview at 11am because he/she lost the interview slip with the location of the interview on it. This is a feasible (in my mind) excuse because he/she is currently homeless and living in a shelter. We grant him/her an interview which goes terribly. Tears are shed. Feelings are aroused. Some staff are confused and upset. "Why did we allow this young person an interview when WE SAID if you no call/no showed you didn't get a second chance?" "What does that say about our credibility?" "How can we all be on different pages? We need to be consistent!" Hearts had prevailed and heads were angry...
I wrestled with this the whole way home...I tend to side with hearts..."What's the loving thing to do" etc. Even though I like rules and black/white, right/wrong, when it comes to lives, I try to look at all angles...and even if a "rule" says "Thus and such"....what about this? And what about that? (this is where I cop out to "It's not a 'rule' but a 'guideline'").
But what does that say to a team of people? If the "leader" (or "shot caller" as they like to say about me) is the "ultimate decision maker" and always errs on the side of hearts, what does that do to rules and guidelines? Are they then ineffective? What's the sense of having a "You can't sleep in class" rule if it's determined that YOU get a pass because your Mom's new boyfriend kept you awake all night fighting with your mom? Or the "You must be in uniform at all times" rule shouldn't apply to you because you used your last few dollars to pay the rent so you and your child wouldn't be evicted and out on the street instead of paying $4 to do your laundry and wash your uniform...?
I have no answer for this tonight...I kept asking, "What would Jesus do?' (and because I work with a team of alleged believers I am comfortable proposing this) but I kept falling short...?
We need heads and hearts...I do not in any way think that my "heart" decisions are "better" than "head decisions"...we MUST have a balance. Yet...yet...?
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