Elsewhere

Over my 14+ years at Covenant House, I have often found myself astonished, amused, and downright dumbfounded at some of the conversations I've had with young people. Call it what you will--cultural differences, age differences, lack of education, etc.--but I have often repeated some of my favorite "stories" to family, friends, and co-workers just to share the environment in which I work...Here are a choice few to enjoy. Some are funny, others are quite sad, humbling, and thought-provoking. I have chosen to write them in their "original language"...

Kid is looking at a family photo I have posted on my desk.

Kid to me: "Ms. Jen, why all those people in your bedroom?"

Me to kid: "That's not my bedroom, it's my livingroom".

Kid to me: "Ain't that a chest of drawers?"

Me to kid: "Yes, I have a dresser in my livingroom".

Kid to me: (incredulous and after a few moments of pause) "What do you keep in there?"

Me to kid: "Tablecloths, cloth napkins, and place mats".

Kid to me: "You need a whole dresser just for tablecloths!?"

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Me answering phone: "Good afternoon, Covenant House?"

Kid on the phone: "Ay, yo, who dis?"

Me: "Who dis? Who DIS!?"

Kid: "Oh, this J----...Who dis, Ms. Jen?"

Me: "Yes! J---, why don't you call back and ask who it is the right way?"

A minute passes...

Me answering phone: "Good afternoon, Covenant House?"

Kid on the phone: "Hello, Ms. Jen, can I please speak w/ Mr. ___?"

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Young lady to me: "Ms. Jen, I need a pregnancy test".

Me to young lady: "You think you're pregnant?"

Young lady to me: "Yeah, I'm a few weeks late".

Me to young lady: "Who's the father?"

Young lady to me: "The guy in the arcade".

Me to young lady: "What's his name?"

Young lady to me: "I don't know...I just know he works there".

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Kid in jail to me: "Ms. Jen, can you call my fiance?"

Me to kid: "Sure, what's her name?"

Kid to me: "Sherita."

Me to kid: "What's her last name?"

Kid to me: "I don't know".

Me to kid: "You have a fiance and you don't know her last name???"

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Driving down the road w/ a kid, Golden Arches are seen in the distance.

Kid to me: "If I was rich, I'd eat at McDonald's every day".

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Kid to me: "So-n-so goes with my aunt".

Me to kid: "Really? So-n-so goes with your aunt?"

Kid to me: "No, my AHHHunt...an ant is a bug that crawls around."

Me to kid: "You say ahunt, I say ant."

Kid to me: "Yeah! Cuz you COUNTRY!"

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Me to a young lady: "You are so fragile."

Young lady: "What that means?"

Me to young lady: "Fragile...like china".

Young lady to me: "Who's that?"

Me to young lady: "No, CHINA, like, plates".

Young lady to me: "I don't know what that is".

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Overheard in the visitor's area while waiting for a visit from a kid in prison...woman talking to another woman across from me.

"My second baby's father's first baby's mother is here seeing her other baby's father".

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Me to a young lady: "I won't be here next week. I'm going to Guatemala".

Young lady to me: "What's that, Fat Camp?"

Me to young lady: "NO! It's a country!"

Young lady: "I've never heard of it. Where is it?"

Me to young lady: "It's in Central America?"

Young lady to me: "Where is that?"

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Kid to me: "Ms. Jen, what's the address to Yardville?"

Me to kid: "Where in Yardville?"

Kid to me: "No, the prison, Yardville."

Me to kid: "There is no prison named Yardville. it's the Garden State Youth Correctional Facility and it's IN the city of Yardville".

Kid to me: "So what's the address of Leesburg?"

Me to kid: "Leesburg is also a city, the prion is Bayside."

Kid to me: "But what about Bordentown or Anandale? THOSE are prisons!"

Me to kid: "No...they are the towns where the prisons Mountainview and Wagner are".

Kid to me after some thought: "So what's the address of the towns?"

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Letter from a kid to me, pre-release from prison:

"Ms. Jen when I got locked up we had beepers. Now everyone has these phones that don't even have buttons on them! Just a screen! And you can get music and TV and even movies on them!"

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And my all time favorite...

Kid to me, referring to the obituary section: "Ms. Jen, where Elsewhere at?"

Me to kid: "Huh?"

Kid to me: "I see Atlantic County, Cape May County, and Cumberland County, and I know where those at. But then it says Elsewhere and I ain't never heard of no Elsewhere. Where that at?"

Me to kid: "Elsewhere just means somewhere else."

Kid to me: "But where is it? Can I go there?"

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