I didn't hate college...but I do remember that every moment I was there, I wanted to be home. There were various reasons for this and they changed a bit year to year...Boyfriends I'd left behind, dealing with weird roommates, fully loaded semesters, being in the middle of a personal famine, etc. Hills Brothers Coffee was a strong pull, as I didn't have access to coffee in the dorm and the stuff they served in the cafeteria was terrible. Home=my room, my cats, not having to carry a million things to the shower, TV (which was censored at school), my music (which was also censored), my church, being able to wear shorts on a hot day, not having to pay to do my laundry...Home was where I was loved, cared for, and safe. Looking back, I'm so very thankful for that.
I share this current story with permission, as it's been weighing on my heart for the last month or so. We have a young person staying with us that, in my mind, defies what the average person may think of when they think "homeless kid". I'll call her Tracy. Tracy never knew her dad. Her mom was an alcoholic and had to work 2 jobs to make ends meet so she wasn't around much. Tracy was basically raised by an older brother but even he couldn't always shield her from "the wrath of mom". As she was sharing her story with a few donors I was giving a tour to yesterday, she mentioned that her mom, in the midst of a bender, would get crazy over really stupid things--a cup left on the counter, a dish that wasn't washed correctly. Tracy had dealt with this her entire life. One day, for no particular reason other than there were 2 unwashed plates in the sink, Mom kicked her out. There she was--18 and no where to go. She wandered around the city for a few days, homeless. She met a city worker on the boardwalk who found her washing her clothes in a public bathroom and referred her to Covenant House. This was last summer. Even though she had dreams of going into the medical field, all she wanted to do when she arrived was get a job and move out on her own.
One of our staff, who recognized her intelligence, worked with her and kept encouraging her to go to college. Tracy couldn't accept the idea. "I'm homeless--how am I going to go to school?" Still, the more the staff worked with her and showed her how possible it was, the more excited she got. She was like most 18 year olds in America today, looking forward to that next phase in their life. So, with our help, she left us last August and entered a 4 year college upstate. She's studying biology. She says that college isn't as hard as she feared it might be and her grades are good.
Back in June, I was doing kid interviews for a video. One of the staff brought Tracy to me. I was happy to see her but I asked, "Why are you here?" She said, "Well, school's over for the semester...and I had no place to go for the summer so I came here". At that moment, I felt so sad. And I still feel sad and felt sad all over again yesterday as she shared her story with the donors. Here she's been away at school all semester, doing what most average, normal 18 year olds do...but instead of going home for the summer, enjoying family, BBQs, her own room, maybe a vacation, and all the normal comforts of a house, she's living in a homeless shelter, sharing a room with 3 strangers, having to abide by our rules and structure, share the TV with 30 other people, bring all her stuff to the shower room, eat on a schedule...I imagine she can't wait to get back to school. Thankfully she found herself a summer job as soon as she got home, so at least that's a diversion for her and she can save up money for the next semester, but still...
Again, with her permission, I've shared this story with a few people. Because it's the reality of what we see with so many kids. No family, no home. I remember years ago a soldier showed up in uniform at our front door. It took me a few seconds to recognize him as a kid that had stayed with us a while back, now looking all spiffy and sharp in his camo. Turns out, he was on leave...and had no place to go, so he asked if he could stay with us. I think the kids were pretty befuddled that here was this army guy coming to a homeless shelter from wherever he had been...but there was no where else to go. I remember being sad about that too.
The only comfort I get from all this is that we are there, we are here and our doors are open. Where would Tracy be if Covenant House wasn't here? And currently I get to be a part of keeping the doors open for her and so many others. It's a big responsibility. Her story keeps me humble. And it reminds me of how blessed I was in school to be able to look forward to coming home...There's no place like it.
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