As you faithful readers will recall, back in the "Faith" post, I had accepted "Cure #1" while waiting for FDA approval for "Cure #2". I re-read the post this morning before I decided to go ahead and post today just to remind myself of what I'd said before....and that accepting Cure 1 would result in "a bajillion different things going in a bajillion different ways" come December.
Well...it's December. And over the last 2 months my faith has held steady. I was informed that "Cure #2" did not and probably will not get FDA approval anytime in the foreseeable future, so, with both disappointment and faith, I put that hope out of my mind. Presently, Cure 1 (working development for South Jersey) hasn't been nearly as close to the not-so-great experience I'd had before from 2008 to 2010, which I attribute mostly to a change in supervisors and a deliberate, consistent beseeching to the Lord to give me a proper attitude towards it all. It's been a good and humbling journey thus far.
Cure 1 was funded last year, for supposedly 1 year, by some well intended folks who wanted to see our new Camden site flourish. There was no guarantee that the program would continue unless we raised the funds to allow it to continue. The person who had my present position before he/she took flight in September was making considerably less than I...and when I accepted the position I was told that once the grant I was presently working under (YouthBuild) which was paying my current salary ran out on December 31, salary might be an issue.
I have never wanted what I do to be about money. I love my job, ANY job I've had with Covenant House, because I get to serve the kids whether directly or indirectly. I work with an amazing group of people under a mission I believe in. However, I do have bills to pay, have worked hard to get to where I am, and am proud of that. Even though we live slightly below our means, it's a lifestyle we both enjoy and have grown accustomed to...and selfishly, I'll admit, I don't want to have to give up certain things.
So when I was informed this week that after December there would be a $10,000 deductible in order to continue accepting Cure #1, I felt some type of way...I knew there would be a deductible, just wasn't sure how much and was hoping that it would be less than that...but there it was. And, in my pride, in my "I've-been-here-15+-years!" pride, I felt like I was "worth" more. How my worth became tied up in numbers on a paycheck I don't know...When I informed my wise husband of this and declared there needed to be some changes in our lifestyle, he reminded me that I still have a full time job, I still make a decent salary, I still have health benefits, etc. AND (added by me) I still get 5 weeks of vacation a year (yes, you read that right=5 weeks).
Irony...when I wasn't sure that any Cure would exist after YouthBuild closed and I started searching around, there wasn't much out there that was even close to what I'll now be making with the deductible. Even though I have a lot of experience, I don't have an MA and the non-profit sector isn't known for it's generous compensation because it's often funded by grants, private monies, and government funds which can change with every shift in government or natural disaster. When 9/11 hit, many people decided to send their "once-designated-to-homeless-kids" funds to fire departments, the Red Cross, etc. and we had to lay off several departments. Same thing happened when the economy turned in 2008=20% of our staff laid off...Hurricane Sandy? We have yet to see...
A few weeks ago in "The Price of Honesty" I said that every December we seemed to have to pay for something big...so I guess this year the $10K deductible is it. But I'm going with what I know...God has allowed this, He knew, He saw, He intended...I can be and am and will continue to be so SO thankful for what I still have and that I'm not having to send my resume out fishing for another Cure...We have enjoyed many "feast" years...and while moving forward won't even be close to "famine", having to live a bit leaner never hurt anyone and it won't hurt us. God was/is/will be faithful.
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