Open Hands

Years ago when I was in college I heard a sermon about praying with open hands.  The thought was that if we cling too tightly to what we think we want/need, when God decides He needs to take it, it becomes more painful of a process, meaning, He has to sometimes pry our hands open to remove the "thing" (person, situation, etc.) we want to so desperately cling to.  With open hands, we acknowledge our dependence and trust in Him to take from and put into our hands anything and everything He says we need. I have tried over the years to cultivate this attitude (with success, I humbly add).

I did not want our YouthBuild program to end. I LOVED being Ms. Jen again, working with the kids directly, coordinating a juvenile re-entry program (=dream job!) yet I knew from the beginning that it was a year to year grant and may be stripped from me/Covenant House. So when I news came, yes--I was sad and disappointed, but my hands were open and I can say with honesty that it didn't hurt as much as it could have if I'd been tight fisted and NOT trusted God for His plan for the program and my role within it.

Yesterday it became official (Cure #1, if you've been following). Instead of leaving me empty handed come October 31, I will transition into doing development work for our Camden site (fundraising, donor relations, etc.=stuff I did before YouthBuild). I will continue to work with the YouthBuild kids on a limited basis and work more to build up our newest site in a much needed community.  When I met with our Executive Director today about it I was asked if I was excited about it...I paused for a second and replied that I was "thankful".

And I am. As I await Cure #2 to get FDA approval, I will accept what God has placed into my open hands with a humbleness of spirit and a trust that whatever the future holds, He is in it, He knows it, and it will be orchestrated according to His plan for my life and my role within this organization that I love. Do I LOVE development work? Eh...not my biggest passion...but if my work can help get a kid off the streets then YES--I'm all in. And if it keeps me employed with an organization whose mission I embrace, then yes--I'm all in.

Open hands are less painful...and show a huge amount of vulnerability and trust in the One who knows what I need, when I need it, and how it should come to pass.  May I continue to keep that same attitude in the weeks and months to come...