In the year after my first Spring Break trip to Mexicali, Mexico I used to play, "This time, 8 months, 3 days, and 5 hours ago, we were..." and recite event by event for my youth pastor. Oddly, I could even remember what I wore on which day. That trip made a significant impact on my life and I loved being able to recall all the memories from it, what had happened when, and revisit those times both by thinking of them and speaking of them.
Yesterday I was listening to a song I hadn't heard in many years...and it reminded me that I used to play that particular CD on my way up to Penn to see Pop in his final moment on this side of life...and that we are entering the season of "I remember July/August of 2006"...and it got me thinking that although I remember days and hours of those particular weeks, days, I couldn't tell you what was going on on July 7, 2006...or could I?
It struck me with excitement (and a bit of "Oh my GOSH!?") that I have been a daily "journaler" for the last 20+ years. I used to journal at random times throughout the day or weeks, maybe not hitting every day but close to it...Then as the years passed, it became a normal part of my morning routine, a documentation of events, feelings, hopes...I have 41 completed journals and am presently scribing in #42. So I decided to pick July 7 as the date of reference and see what has taken place over the last 20 years...
7/7/1991-Dealing with weight issues, in a great relationship with a wonderful guy, summer before heading off to college, "I'm scared about school...it's all going so fast and I can't stop it".
7/7/1992-Trying to juggle 2 relationships, dealing with weight issues
7/7/1993-Crushed over a breakup with the "wonderful guy" from 1991
7/7/1994-OJ trial, entering my senior year of college, in the midst of a "Let's try new stuff and push boundaries" summer, "It's been so long since I had a quiet time or really prayed-why? Not sure...I feel so detached...like amidst trying to figure out and firm up what I feel and believe about other stuff I'm trying to figure where does God fit to it all?"
7/7/1995-no entry??? Apparently I had been on an overnight for Summer Life, a camp that Pop and I worked for and didn't want anyone finding my journal!
7/7/1996-First summer with Mark, his sister had suggested that we look for jobs at Shore Memorial, trying to spend every available minute down the shore
7/7/1997-Mom and Pop had come over to my apartment in Ocean City to see the new cats, a friend of Mom's from church planning a bridal shower for me
7/7/1998-First year of married life and working at the Cov..."I do so love my job...""Saw Mom and Pop twice over the weekend...Mom slipped me $20 so Mark and I can go out to eat=cool!"
7/7/1999-Training for my first marathon (which I never ended up doing)
7/7/2000-"I caught a 21 inch flounder!", volunteering at Hope Pregnancy Center in Ocean City, getting ready to move into our new apartment
7/7/2001-"Yesterday was one of those heart wrenching, quickened pulse, 'Why do I do this?' kind of days...I so did not want to leave (CH) yesterday until I knew they were safe" (getting in deep w/ the kids)
7/7/2002-Getting ready to go to Guatemala, headed over to prison to see one of my kids who was in protective custody and upset that I probably wouldn't be able to see him, "There is a sick pit in my stomach, I am trying desperately to give this over to the Lord but it's resulting in me trying to manipulate matters which makes me feel even worse."
7/7/2003-Mark just started at Borgata, happy with my weight and appearance, apparently, "Gym was awesome--I felt so lean and strong".
7/7/2004-The summer of no job title (we were between grants), spent the day yapping with a kid calling collect from prison and meeting with my new supervisor about when I might have a job title and start date
7/7/2005-Managing "quality control" at Covenant House and a new outreach team, 'Not feeling thin enough".
7/7/2006-Working 9am-11pm several nights a week because one of my outreach workers was in an accident
7/7/2007-Wedding day for nephew Michael and his wife Ali
7/7/2008-Working with a new Praise and Worship pastor, driving to Newark each week to work in Development
7/7/2009-One of the old kids left a voicemail at work in Atlantic City (I was in Newark) and I had to play it a million times until I could figure out who it was (they tend to leave, "Hey, it's Me" messages)
7/7/2010-Suspicious talks about my present position, getting pushed to consider being a part of a new grant we received for YouthBuild
7/7/2011-Addicted to Ben & Jerry's half pint of Half-Baked frozen yogurt
Points in time...some themes have remained over the last 25 years (there was some mention of my weight in just about every entry) and it's amazing to recall certain events and how impacting they were at the time...but how the passage of time does help those stronger emotions to lessen. I'm thankful that I have these references to assure me that God has been faithful to see me through the good and the bad, not only through the last 20 years, but the 39+ He's allowed me to be on this side of Life.
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