Habits Part 1

Webster's defines a "habit" as "a settled tendency or usual manner of behavior or an acquired mode of behavior that has become nearly or completely involuntary". A routine is defined as "a regular course of procedure". As the year was winding down in December and January approached, I thought about my ingrained "habits" or "routines" or general ways of behaving that make me Jen. 

I thought of the seemingly "completely involuntary":

• I put on right shoes before left shoes
• When I run I breathe through my mouth
• Upon entering my office, I turn my desk light on before my floor lamp
• I stretch before leaving my bed in the morning--legs then arms

Then I considered the things I do that are voluntary but have become so ingrained in my normal day to day I don't really think about them:

• I drink 2 cups of coffee in the morning before heading to the bathroom to "sit"
• My Saturday cleaning always begins with the downstairs powder room
• I food shop on Friday mornings at 7am

When the New Year began, I took a hard look at myself and didn't really like what I saw...or maybe, I began to realize that my 44 year old self was not who I thought the Lord really wanted me to be. I read a quote recently that said something like, "Don't live the same year for 75 years and consider that a life". I know my demons and struggles...I am quite aware of myself and the things I continue to allow myself to be enslaved to that keep me from being my 100% best. But at least, I mused, I could change something...?

I was walking the dog on January 2nd and ruminating on this when the thought of "yoga" popped into my head. Disclaimer: I've never been a huge fan of the practice, or at least the little I knew of it. Still, I researched enough over the years to know the benefits of it (if you didn't get all weird and into the mystical side of it) and thought...eh?

When I got back to the house I pulled up my gym's class schedule and saw there was a yoga class on Wednesdays at 5pm=perfect for me since my workday (aside from any random evening obligations) ends around 4:30pm. Why not give it a try? WHY NOT!?

I decided then and there I would go for it. I would undo my normal Wednesday night routine that had become so familiar, so comfortable, so predictable, and I would try yoga. HA!

Questions plagued my mind--what should I wear? How many people would there be? What if I was having a particularly gassy day? This was not being held at my "home gym" so what if there were people there I knew!? I got an outfit together I thought would work well and went to my first class. (gulp!)

The instructor was an older woman, maybe in her 50's, who was very laid back and cool. There were maybe 5 of us in that first class I attended--all different ages and body types which made me feel a little less self-conscious. The best part was the instructor turned out the lights before we began and lit candles creating a calm and "no one can see my jacked up feet and fat rolls" atmosphere. 

In that first class I didn't know a Downward Dog from a Tree from a Warrior but it didn't matter. I followed along, breathed, stumbled, and even fell over a few times but so did others. By the time I finished I felt so invigorated but no so much from the actual practice of yoga but more so from the fact that I did something new, different--I tried something!!! and it was pretty cool. YAY ME!

I've continued to attend the class each week that I've been able (snow and work have made some weeks difficult). I can't say that my practice has gotten better (I'm not that limber) but I like the challenge of it, the calming after a hard day at work, and the little head massage with nice smelling oil that our instructor gives each of us at the end of each session. She reminds us (and I tell myself this) that the hour I spend there is a gift we give to ourselves each week--60 minutes of mindful stretching, breathing, being in the moment, and doing something good for body and spirit. No one can take that away and I am purposing to do that for myself. 

Is this a new habit? Or just a new practice? Not sure yet...but each time I go I DO feel empowered that a thought was planted to "break free!" from my usual day-to-day and try something new and I did it...and perhaps that will spill into other areas of my life that need some clean up and attention. Lord willing...