What a Tragedy Indeed

Driving home from work the other day I was half listening to a preacher deliver a sermon on the radio. I say half listening because, honestly, I don't care for this particular minister's way of preaching. I'm not sure if it's his content, the way he speaks, some of the things he says to try to garner humor that fall flat to my ears or what but if I had to list, he's not my favorite. I was half inclined to turn the station off and just pray my way home...but then he said something that caught my attention. He was telling the congregation that he and another pastor had recently had a conversation and one of them had made the speculation that there were people that went their entire day without thinking about Jesus once...and to this the minister I did not care for declared, "What a tragedy". Indeed.

At that point I did turn off the radio and chewed on this. There were people that went the entire day without thinking about Jesus. There were probably people that went days, weeks, months, even years or lifetimes that never once thought about Jesus. I started to pray about this, as I'd never considered such a thing, and was reduced to tears that I, sinner that I am, do in fact think about Jesus every day and how thankful I am of that fact. Further, I couldn't recall a day or time over the last few decades when a thought of Jesus or God or faith had not entered my mind. This realization did not make me feel prideful or "better than", rather, I felt quite humiliated that in all my broken and wayward ways I had enough faith to even do so. 

Granted, having a thought about Jesus enter my mind on a daily basis means nothing if it doesn't result in meaning something. I can think about losing weight, I can think about cleaning the house, and I can think about becoming more spontaneous...but those thoughts mean nothing if it isn't followed by action=change, development, difference, growth, etc. But there are some people for whom Jesus isn't even an intellectual thought. 

When I wake up, I sit on the edge of my bed for a few moments. I stretch and in my mind I say Psalm 17:15b-"When I awake, I will be satisfied with Your likeness", and try to get a mental image of Jesus. I aim to make Him my very first thought before all the "stuff" of earth comes rushing in. About 10 minutes later I'm sitting quietly at my kitchen table, reading devotions, diving into scripture, allowing the Word to get into my mind, heart, and soul as best I can. When I get into the car I pray out loud, sometimes for 10 minutes, sometimes for 20 or more...asking, seeking, confessing, listening, laughing, pleading with Christ. If I'm still driving, 9/10 times I'll put on a Christian radio station and listen to sermons or music. Sometimes it strikes chords in my spirit, sometimes it gets reduced to background noise if I'm thinking of other things...but I give the opportunity. Throughout the day Jesus enters my mind at all different times--through a Providential moment when the pieces all come together and I give Him a praise, through a scripture in someone's email, through a conviction in my heart when I start to think wrong things or ponder stuff I shouldn't, through a desperate cry for help when XYZ happens and I'm about to lose it, or through a nudge to acknowledge and thank Him for that sunset, that rain, or that pretty landscape. It could be more...it should be more...but it's there. Every day. 

And some people never do that and will never do that. Ever. It made me wonder whether some of the people I'm closest to are those people. At work, in my family, donors, kids...and it made me so sad but also quite convicted because if that's the case, what am I doing about it? I started to think about random people within my closest circles--"Does X think about Jesus at all during the day?" And, although I'm not a mindreader, I had to conclude that, "No...probably not". 

I considered why I think about Jesus at all and why someone else would not...and it came down to relationship. I think about Mark throughout the day also, at different times and for different reasons. He's my husband, my "person", and I love him, so I think about him. My aim is to have a stable, happy marriage so I invest time and energy into thinking about ways to do that, and hopefully some of those thoughts towards him/us change ME so he/we become better. Granted, Mark didn't die on the cross for me and He's not GOD but you get the picture.  

I have a relationship with Jesus and it's the most important one, before my marriage, before my family, before work...I do owe Him my life because He died to save it. So my life should be consumed with knowing Him better, talking to Him, listening to and for Him, developing that relationship so it becomes deeper, stronger, etc. It's not just knowing about Him, it's knowing Him directly and allowing that relationship to change me for the good. And I want that--there's a desire there, a motivation that drives it. 

To not have that...To go through the day and not have conviction, nudges, a grateful heart, joy in my spirit...Is that the majority of people? Is that folks within my family? Is that the person I'll sit next to tomorrow in a meeting? 

There's a part of my spirit that grieves that and concludes with the preacher, "What a tragedy"...but also the tragedy if I choose to do nothing about it.