20 Years of Us

This past Wednesday marked 20 years of marriage for Mark and me. Almost 2 years ago, I decided that our "gift" would be this compilation of various photos from over the years. I'd work on it when he went to work, a little at a time, and then put it all together over the last few weeks. After our first few years of marriage we decided to not "celebrate" our anniversary with gifts/cards, rather we'd go out to dinner and reflect. We did agree that we'd celebrate the "big ones"=5, 10, 20, etc. I know that for our 5th year I got him a grill rotator but I have no clue what he got me (!?). On our 10th he got me a ring with 5 diamonds, which was really a 5th anniversary ring at the jewelers but he thought it was pretty (so did I!) I got him an enscripted wine decanter. This anniversary we decided to go to Mexico when it's good fishing season=probably February, our first vacation with just the 2 of us in over 13 years. 

Still, I wanted to do "something"...This labor of love wasn't so much a gift for him as it was a gift for "us". And each time I sat down to carefully cut around "us" I was compelled to recall the time/event for which the picture was taken...and remember. The trip to New Orleans. The Christmas at my parents house when the threat of snow caused us to leave early and our Christmas dinner was sandwiches from Wawa. A quick shot before a Williams family party on the dock. The year of the worst Christmas gifts. My Grandmommy's funeral. A co-worker's wedding. The Board of Realtors Golf Outing. Our beloved pets over the years. A trip to Houston. The list went on and on.

Our anniversary this year fell on the night before our 2nd annual Real Estate Sleep out so I would not be home for our weekly Thursday night date night. Since Mark was off Wednesday, we decided to celebrate at home that night. I arrived home from work to wonderful smells...Flintstone sized steaks thawing, shrimp cocktail, peppers and onions waiting to be sauted, mushrooms and butter also waiting to be sauteed, baked potatoes prepped and ready for grilling, homemade butter (YES!) for our homemade biscuits made from the homemade buttermilk left over from the homemade butter (can you tell Mark likes to try new things!?), and a carefully selected bottle of wine for dinner. YUM!!!

I crept upstairs to retrieve this collage...and when I presented it to him he seemed a bit overwhelmed. He inspected each photo, remembered the time/event, even remarked, "I loved that shirt", or "That was the time I got hit in the head with a golf ball", memories different than mine. He said it was so thoughtful and, oddly to me, had no clue I would have thought to do something like this. Score one for me for surprises!

We feasted and then sat outside in the dark for a while, reflecting, remembering...we concluded that our "better" has certainly outweighed our "worse". Many ups and downs, a few tragedies, many celebrations, the good, bad, ugly, and beautiful. "Us".

We went into this marriage knowing that divorce--for any reason--was not an option. We are not the same people we married 20 years ago. We've changed, matured, gotten a bit more stuck in our ways, and have accommodated these changes because, well, that's what you do. We agreed to "do life" together 20 years ago, no matter what. It has not been easy and in fact, there have been seasons when it's been pretty tough. But to look through all the stages of "us" over the last 20 years, to see that 25 year old in that picture or that 36 year old in that picture or the event that caused a fight or the event that caused a needed closeness and what he/she was thinking/feeling/doing then was and is such a rich reminder of what we know to be true=we vowed to "have and to hold" from October 11, 1997 from that day forward...and praise God that vow remains strong and sure. Happy 20 year to us!