In humility I will admit that I take a certain amount of "pride" in learning more how to "go with the flow". One of the ladies I supervise constantly tells me that I am her stress relief as I point her to the promises of God, scripture, and what is Truth (thank God she's a believer!) When the normal day-to-day interruptions surface, I have learned to relax, take it, and move on. An impending snowstorm cancels all bets.
I have no recollection when I became quite panicked at major storms in the forecast. As a child snow meant no school and cartoons all morning. As a teen school it meant I got to sleep in. Maybe it was when I was in my 20's and we were snowed in for days after the Blizzard of 1996 and I ate all the leftover Christmas cookies and gained 15 pounds in 3 days. Or after I got married and I was an "essential worker" and had to attempt to go to work no matter what, having to white knuckle it from home to AC. Who knows. All I do know is that when the forecast gets crazy, I get crazy.
We lived through Hurricane Irene...we lived through the Derecio...we lived through Super Storm Sandy. When they began to forecast for a "major winter storm" this weekend I listened but didn't get too upset. I had no place I needed to be. Loss of power I've lived through. I'd run on my "off" day so I wouldn't miss an exercise day (ooooo!)
As the forecast worsened, I made a list of everything I felt needed to be done by Friday afternoon=food shop, secure outside things, do a quick vacuum downstairs (God forbid I couldn't clean due to loss of power on Saturday=my normal deep clean day and there was dog hair all over). Charge all electronics. Etc.
Friday I worked from home in the morning and ventured into AC for most of the rest of the day. At one point, 2 co-workers were chatting about the impending storm. People they knew who'd had trees crash on their homes. Experiences driving 5 MPH for hours to make a 15 mile trip. Cars in ditches. Days without heat. Burst pipes. Financial loss. ETCETCETC. I shut my door and turned up music on my computer but the damage was done. I kept looking at the clock. How long till the snow arrived? Did I have enough time to secure the outside chairs? Would I remember to back into the driveway? Maybe I should leave NOW at 2:30!????
I hung till a little after 3pm...did some work-related things in AC, and then headed out of town. I turned off the radio at one point and began to cry. A confessional prayer followed. "Stupid fear!" I shouted in my car. I asked the Lord to give me peace, I claimed scripture, I told Him how ridiculous I felt about being afraid of this stupid snowstorm. I confessed that I was afraid but that I knew He was greater than my fear. And it was in the midst of turning off the Parkway and onto one of the main streets home that Philippians 4:6-7 came to mind in the simplicity of my pastor that had preached on it months ago and that I had been sharing with the woman I supervise: "DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING! PRAY about everything! Tell God what you need, and thank Him for what He's done...And the peace of God that passes all understanding will guard your hearts AND MINDS in Christ Jesus". I said that scripture every which way all the rest of the way home. And fear did dissipate. Praise God. I kept saying it as I took down the bird feeder, secured the lawn chairs, charged my WiFi receiver, walked the dog...
I prayed it again at 12:30am when Mark wasn't home from work yet and the wind was howling. I prayed it again at 2am when I heard something "thud" on our roof. I prayed it again at 5:20am when I was watching TV and the electric was jarred enough to turn off the coffee maker twice. I've been praying it all day.
It's 4:30pm...we have about 5-6 (?) crunchy inches of snow on the ground and I see tiny little specks coming down. The wind is still howling but the lights haven't flickered since this morning. I did 3 loads of laundry, cleaned the house (again), finally took my phone off the charger, and worked with Mark to shovel the driveway...took Solomon for a hard walk in the slush.
What's the fear? Right? I have been trying to assess this all day. I even played, "What's the Worst Thing That Can Happen" and came up with a tree crashing through my bedroom and pinning me to the bed where I lay in agonizing pain for hours and die a slow death. Could it happen? Yes...likely? Who knows. My mantra prayer in the wee hours was, "Keep the house safe, no loss of power", over and over. Simple prayer...I humbled myself by prefacing it with, "If YOU are willing..." because I know that God doesn't HAVE TO honor any of my prayers...but, as of 4:35pm, He has.
And what's the fear? Loss of power=potential loss of food in the fridge (we've lived through that), too much snow=being snowed in=can't run or go to the gym=I'll get fat...eh...yeah...I'm not sure where this comes from...but I'm glad that in my confessional prayer on the way home yesterday (and parts of the day today, especially when the lights have flickered) I've referred to this as, "Stupid fear!" Because fear is stupid! God/Jesus tells us not to! So we should NOT!
I have been studying the book of Matthew in my morning times. This morning, however, I took time to read through "Precious Bible Promises" which my parents gave me for graduation from high school. I read through the entire "In Times of Fear" section and claimed many verses to help me get through today. It helped.
It struck me though, later in the day when I had accomplished so much and the panic of, "Are we gonna lose power??? I'd better make a 5th cup of coffee!" had dissipated a bit...I was being quiet and I was humbled by a statement I often share with others: "Why are we surprised when God answers prayer?" We still have a few hours left of this storm...and yes, maybe we will lose power or a tree will fall on our house or our neighbors...but I prayed and claimed protection over our property, our cars, our beings, and for power...and here I am...so why is it still a surprise???
Praise God from whom ALL blessings flow...stupid fear...
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