Historically, I've never been a gambler. And it's not really tied to anything faith-wise; I just tend to think it's a waste of money. BINGO here and there, a chance on this or that at a fair or auction, but the lottery? Only twice in my life that I can recall.
I played for the first time several years ago when the jackpot was in the hundred millions, just for fun. I tried to strategically pick certain numbers based on birthdays, anniversaries, and other "significant" things. Obviously I didn't win. When the Powerball reached into the hundred millions again last week, I was approached by a co-worker who sheepishly said, "I know you are pious (!?) but we're doing a pool if you want to get in on it". I did. I also bought a few tickets on my own. Just for fun. When no one won last Saturday and the jackpot grew to over 1 billion dollars, I got in on the pool at work again and Mark and I both bought a few tickets here and there. Just for fun. We did not win.
Honestly, I would have been terrified, I think, if we had. Having grown up in a modest income household (at least it seemed that way to me), I can appreciate the value of money. I had everything I needed provided for--food, clothing, toys, school needs, etc. If there were struggles (and I bet there were) I didn't know about them. I did not get everything I wanted and I find great value in that. We drove used cars for the most part, did away with posh interior design and furniture, and didn't really splurge on destination vacations (save one trip to Disney World when I was 14), clothes or outings, etc. We did have the shore to go to in the summer. I worked summer jobs and babysitting throughout the year to pay for my own "stuff" (makeup, 45's, outings with friends), and got a modest allowance. Christmas and birthdays were when you got gifts, Sundays were for eating out, and I made do with hand me downs and simple pieces of clothing rather than beg to shop at the GAP (although Mom consented once to an Outback Red sweater that "everyone" was wearing, although I was about 6 months behind the trend). I never felt like I was "missing out" and I have absolutely no complaints for being raised this way.
Mark and I tend to be on different planes when it comes to money, although over the years we've managed to meet in a teetering middle. He spends, I save, for the most part. He has taught me that sometimes it's better to spend the money on XYZ than to get it from the Dollar Store. He has learned that living below your means can be just as satisfying as spending everything you make. We give a hefty portion of our income away, mostly to church and a few other charities that need it more than we do. He buys "toys" and tools, I buy scented candles and dumb stuff for the house we don't really need...but we can pay the bills each month and be a blessing to others. There have been leaner years and there have been years of abundance. I have a healthy respect for money but do not worship it or wish we had more. Honestly.
The idea of $1.anything billion is scary to me. Or even $460 million. Or $95 million. Heck, even $6 million! Often when I run I play the "If I win the lottery" story in my head to pass the miles. And the story is 99% the same=give a substantial portion away (church and charity), keep a little fluid, and invest the rest so it makes more so we can give more away.
Before the drawing on Wednesday Mark and I had a little "if we win" consultation conversation. I admitted to him that if we won--not even the full jackpot but anything--we could not tell ANYONE except our "money guy" who could advise us accordingly. I recall being with him (our money guy) a few summers back and there was a lottery jackpot up for grabs that was quite hefty. We were all speculating what we'd do if we won. "Money guy" said that if you won $10 million and invested it in a tax free trust, it would earn you roughly $200,000 per year. Even that sounded ridiculous to me! The other factor is that given my work with the population I've served over the last 19 years, a lot of people connected to non-profits know me ="Jen! Help US!"...as do a lot of struggling people...and people with guns. And people that, even though they respect and love me, may be desperate for a piece of the pie. I would not want to have to go through the process of becoming anonymous which is exactly what would have to happen.
And then what? $1.6 billion? Really? MY thoughts were to give a chunk away (church, charity, others), keep a little (new house on the bay in Ocean City, new furniture, etc.) and invest the rest so we could start a foundation to help others and live off the interest. But was that appealing? Honestly, aside from helping people, not really. I love my job but there's no way I would be able to continue to work there=too accessible to people and easy to find. So I'd have to find something new to do every day. Some folks say if they win the lottery they'd travel=NO! I don't "travel" well at all and the only place I want to see before I die is the Grand Canyon...but going all over=no appeal to me. So what would I do all day? Clean a huge house? Learn Spanish via Rosetta Stone? Read books? Fish in season on a boat we'd buy? Take Solomon to do his therapy dog thing once he passes his test? Eh...
Truth is, I am proud of the money I earn at my job. I work hard and have invested a lot of years into that agency. I am also humbled that God has seen fit to care for us and bless us with "enough" to meet basic needs and enjoy a little "extra" from time to time, all while acting in obedience to give back an appropriate portion (even moreso) to Him and to help others.
Would it have been nice to move to OCNJ? Get Mom a house on the water? Pay off student loans for some of my nieces and nephews? Expand Covenant House in AC so we don't have kids sleeping on mats on the floors? Be able to tell my church that the new building is paid off? Yes--it would have been. But I can't say there wasn't a level of relief as well that we did not match numbers.
Oddly, in Saturday's drawing, our work pool won $4...I don't think any of us was quick to try and cash it in.
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