Today completes my 18th year at Covenant House. I look at the picture of this young thing who knew next to nothing about working with these kids. This picture was taken on a Sunday as we were doing some kind of event for our moms and babies. This was 1998 or 1999...still so new to it all. Goodness.
Yesterday I was running in a million directions getting ready for our Sleep Out event taking place Thursday. The phone rang and the per diem that was working caught me in mid stride and asked, "Are you Jennifer Williams?" "Yes..." "There's an "Arelio" on the phone for you", and my heart stopped for a second before beginning to burst.
Zoom back to 2000...This kid shows up with attitude out the whazoo. Demanding. Temper quick as a flash. Contrary. Maybe even scary at times. He was a schmoozer though and quite charming. I was determined to help him. He loved women and loved love. That's all he wanted, was to love and be loved. But he had the wrong idea of what that truly looked like so he went in and out of various relationships with young ladies. He trusted little. He tested boundaries and loyalties with a gaminess I've yet to find in another kid. For some reason we clicked.
I liked him immediately. He was sweet, funny, and had a street sense that made me feel protected. I remember waiting on the boardwalk for him one night for something, and he came out of the fog like a movie character. Although it was late, I knew he had asked me to be there and that if I didn't show up the careful trust I'd work to build would be broken. So there I stayed.
He was in and out of jail for years...years. I always wrote and even visited once while he was in prison. There would be gaps in time when I wouldn't hear from him and I'd plug his name into a few different Department of Corrections websites until I found him and sent him a, "I'm sorry to see you are in these circumstances but I'm here for you", letter. We'd keep in touch for a bit, maybe a random phone call once he came home, then a gap again. I learned not to take it personally.
So to have him randomly call me yesterday after an absence of maybe 4 years was a real treat. The last few years had not been good ones for him but he was in a safe place, getting help, and said he was in the best place in his mind he'd ever been. He said, "I have so much to tell you...I feel like I owe you an explanation of where I've been...You've always been there for me and were always unconditional-I've never had a chance to do that for you".
Arelio owes me nothing. He never will. My role was to be there and there I've been, whether as a 26 year old or a 42 year old (yikes!). But we tend to think about relationships being reciprocal, so I get where he's coming from. He asked if I would stay in touch with him and I said, of course, that I would. He's 34 now.
The longer I stay the older I feel, obviously. I think back to my 24 year old self and wonder if she ever thought she'd make a strong enough impact to have a former kid tracking her down just to say hi and thank you and I still need you. Probably not. Well, definitely not, especially since this was supposed to just be a "meanwhile" job. Praise God for longevity and 18 years of trying to make a difference. May there be 18 more!
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