A co-worker of mine who I really like recently converted to Catholicism. Over the last few months I've watched with interest her faith and practice become more and more devout. We were at the funeral of a former staff member recently and she had a little pouch with her that had all kinds of stuff in it, books and beads and pamphlets...She pulled out a little book of something, kneeled at the altar, and began to pray...As we went through the mass together, she did all the right stuff at the right times...She told me at one point that she was thinking about becoming a nun. We've discussed the Franciscan life and the benefits of simplistic living. Yesterday we stayed after a meeting to chat and she was showing me the Prayer of Hours app on her phone and some of the contents of her pouch...a rosary, some laminated cards that had prayers and scripture...She was intending to stay where we were after I left (we were at a Catholic Church) to be alone for a while with the Lord. All I wanted was to get home and have dinner.
I was contemplative the whole way home...A few weeks ago after one discussion I actually did some research on Franciscan living and was drawn to many aspects of it, challenged even. Her current devotion is impressive to me and although we don't agree on all things, I find a kindred spirit in her. Similar to my last post about being devout, because she carries rosary beads and wears a bracelet with saints on it and a few medallions/metals, you can at least conclude that she's "religious" or Catholic. Me? Does my life reflect enough of the Savior I claim to worship? Do I look different? Am I "sanctified"/set apart from the world enough?
I've been entertaining the idea of Lent 2014...I've never been a huge fan of Lent and never had the discipline or desire to give up anything, probably because I don't understand fully what the season really means other than it begins after Fat Tuesday and ends at Easter, if that's even correct. But I thought to myself about adopting a more Franciscan way of living for that 40 days, just to humble myself, abandon distractions and excess, strip off the unnecessary, purge the comfortable, be more...devout.
But why start at Lent? Why not start now? I thought about simple things I could do...go through my closets (yes, 2 of them) and get rid of the stuff I never wear but might again someday, keep only the basics, develop my own "uniform" of sorts...That would be easy enough...I thought about my outward appearance, giving up makeup and jewelry (besides my wedding/engagement rings and daily cross)...keeping my hair simple...I visually went through my house (well, our house) and thought about all the stuff--little knick knacks and pictures and decorations that are just there to fill space or because someone gave them to us...Would we miss them? If I got rid of them for me would Mark care? Then I thought about what I spend money on aside from bills and groceries that I could give up and perhaps donate that money to charity or the church...
A nice idea...yet I keep examining my motives...Is it the Lord inspiring me to do this? Am I just challenged but my co-workers outward devotion that I'm convicted or concerned about the lack of my own? Why is being "identified" so important to me right now?
Perhaps this is my own mid-life crisis...and I'd hardly call it a crisis...more of a contemplation...So funny--I'm sitting here as I'm writing this thinking, "If only Christians had a uniform, that would be so much easier!"
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