Devout

I met w/ a Rabbi yesterday at a synagogue/school in Cherry Hill. I did a little research on him prior to (turns out "he" is a "her") and the synagogue, which was Jewish Reform= (in my translation) "a little more relaxed" (no wonder they have a female Rabbi.  As I was waiting, several classes of children were traveling down the hall to their next class, many singing in Hebrew.  One teacher was leading a song that went something like, "You take a piece of chicken, put it in a pot, stir it up and stir it up until it's nice and hot, and then it will be ready for Shabbat, for Shabbat, and then it will be ready for Shabbat".

Rabbi Geri was pretty cool, young, down to earth.  I was trying to sell her on the Young Professionals Sleep Out we're having in NYC in March (yes, I'll be sleeping in a box once again!), how we're assembling a South Jersey team and did she think she and other young professionals from the synagogue might want to go? She asked what the date was, I told her, and then said hesitantly, "It's a Friday night". Oooo...she winced...then was thoughtful..."Do you think there might be a way we could celebrate Shabbat? I could bring all the things I'd need...We'd just need a space...and to get there before sunset..." I considered this, said I was sure we could make accommodations, and told her, "That would be a really beautiful thing...and maybe others of the faith would want to join you". I was impressed and humbled that Shabbat was that important to her and would also be to the folks who may attend.

Devotion...I have always admired people who are whole heartedly devoted to their religious beliefs, whether I agree with them or not.  There's a Starbucks in Cherry Hill I frequent between meetings to grab a cup of joe and work on the computer.  You can always tell the Orthodox Jews--the men in their outfits and yarmulkes, the women in their wigs or scarves, skirts, and conservative tops...I once attended a training on sex (training to be a Risk Reduction Specialist) and they had several different people on a panel to give their views. One was an Orthodox Jew...and he described with such beauty the way they view women, marriage, and how he had never touched another woman in a sexual OR casual way (shaking hands) besides his wife.  I drove by the Atlantic City Rescue Mission one time and paused as I watched 2 homeless Muslims in the parking lot, fully garbed, bowed towards Mecca on their little mats, devoted to prayers in spite of their circumstances. I love driving through Lancaster and seeing the Amish, their dedication to being plain and simple...Their modest dress, their refusal of modern living (for the most part)...

But do I really admire the devotion? Maybe I just want a uniform!? That would make life easier...

Or maybe because the outward appearance gives the impression of a higher level of devotion than I feel I'm achieving in my own Christian life...? I'm a rules person...Give me a clear set of do's and don'ts and I'm good...but wait a minute--the Bible already has that!?  Jesus did away with legalism and the Laws of the Old Testament (You can eat shrimp! You don't have to stone a woman caught in adultery!) but for me, some areas are still grey (the whole "free will"/"choice" thing...) I was toying with the idea of attending an Orthodox Church for a bit...Again, I was humbled by their practices and the treasuring of the "original" ways of worshipping. Father Steve often tells me that if Jesus came back today and was dropped in the middle of an Orthodox Church, He'd recognize everything about it.  When I visited Father Steve a few weeks ago in his home, I noticed he had a little shelf/altar in the living room with a candle lit.  He brought me over to it and showed me a metal stamp w/ some writing on it (Greek, I think) "Williams", he explained, "every Saturday Margo (his wife) bakes a loaf of bread and puts this stamp on it. Then we bring the bread to church the next day". (Orthodox fast from Saturday night until the 3+ hour-stand-the-entire-time service on Sunday is over, then eat the bread to break the fast, if I understood correctly). Me: "You do this every Saturday?" "Every Saturday"...Wow...I was humbled...I couldn't (or wouldn't?) do that...wouldn't I? For the Lord?

 

Perhaps what's going on here (as I've been reflecting on these things for a few weeks) is plain and simple conviction. Can people tell I'm a Christian? Cross wearing aside (which doesn't mean much anymore anyway), does my life reflect the relationship I claim to have with Jesus? Does my speech? Do my actions? Does my home? Does my dress and other outward adornment? How I spend my free time? My attitude? Hmmm...I don't ever--ever--want anyone to be surprised to learn that I'm a believer.  How horrible that would be, if I told someone I was a Christian and they gasped, "Really!? You!?" Which is why I think I'm drawn to the "uniform" idea...you can easily identify a Catholic nun, Hassidic Jew, heck, probably even Later Day Saint if you were in Utah.  But clothing aside, is there enough evidence otherwise? People who know would probably say yes...

 

I think, as I'm approaching the big 4-0, I'm taking some stock of "Jen", what's inside and out, what can stay and what should go, what is enhancing my life with Christ and what continues to tarnish it. As hard as this process is at times, I'm glad that I care enough to do it, that the Holy Spirit continues to poke and prod me about things in my life I know are ruinous to my testimony. I once read an article where someone who had died was described as "devout"...and I thought that was awesome, to be described that way--there was no wishy-washyness...This guy knew what he believed and lived it out in full devotion.  I pray I will continue to move in that direction...and that there will be such an overwhelming evidence of a life sold out to Christ that others might describe me that way...But I'd still like a uniform... : )