Touchstones, Part 3

Something must be in the air...Something must be reaching into a bunch of my "old kids" and telling them to reconnect with me...or else, Someone is reminding some of the old kids, when crisis strikes, that there is still a genuine place to reach back to...and (hopefully) someone to help them...and as of late, that someone seems to be me...and it's playing with my head!

I was about to leave today and the phone rang. The lady on the other end didn't immediately identify herself but asked, "Can I speak with Ms. Jen Williams?" I said it was me...She responded, "I'm not sure if you can help me but if anyone can point me in the right direction, it will be you". I asked who was speaking...and it was "Sonia", a girl who came to the Covenant House at 17 (she's 28 now). My mind raced back to 2001 and I saw her as a feisty young girl, a real piece of work, who could be real sweet one minute and then fly off the cuff and assault you with horrendous language the next. I recalled being the one to assist her in one particularly horrendous situation she found herself in...remembered that over the years she often referred other young people to "the Cov" (which is the highest form of affirmation, I feel), and was a great source of information of what was going on with past residents. I hadn't heard from or seen her in probably 5 or 6 years.

I asked how I could help...She was actually calling on behalf of someone else who needed help with a family member and she put that person on the phone...I listened to the situation, assessed what I could do, made some calls, called the "someone else" back with information, and that was that.

When I got to my car finally I broke down and boo-hoo'd for a bit, trying to get to the root of how I was feeling. As the tears streamed down, I asked the Lord, "What? WHAT!? What are you bringing all these old kids back into my life for? Now? Why am I the touchstone? What does it all mean!?"  And, in my vain attempt to try and figure God out, I hypothesized...Affirmation that I need to be at Covenant House? That I will still be there in 3 months? Or perhaps a continual humbling of my spirit that yes, I'm here NOW, today, but I need to trust that 3 months from now, if I'm not there, these "old kids" will still be ok...? That someone else will be there for them?

Part of me (the selfish part) does not want to accept the latter thought. Not at all. Because take today...if "Sonia" hadn't found me, there was no one else at Covenant House working today from her era who knew her or may have been willing to help her. Could "Joe Youth Advisor" who's only been working there 2 years have helped? Yeah...maybe...but isn't it better when you have that personal connection? When "Sonia" could remember the kind of person I was and know that "if anyone can point me in the right direction, you can"?

These last few months have really been hard...It's less than 3 months until the "exit date", less than 3 months until the doctor pronounces "deceased"...and as far as a cure? I was told today that I'll know in another month if a cure is imminent...

I knowthatIknowthatIknow that there is purpose in today's connection...something for me to learn...or even just to solicit continued prayer for me from you readers who are along for this journey through your faithful reading (and I don't even know who reads this blog!) I just pray that my prayers for the future are in line with God's will...that I can continue to be the/a touchstone for the "Sonias" that will continue to come...and oddly, to keep this weird phenomenon continuing, I've been praying that the Lord continues to bring these "old heads" out of the woodwork so I can help...even if only for one last time.