Last Friday we were saying good-bye to one of our beloved teachers when I got a phone call. It was a young man I'd met at Covenant House back in 1998. I'd never had a good relationship with him while he was with us--was quite scared of him in fact--but once he became incarcerated we kept in touch sporadically over the years. I'd last heard from him perhaps a year ago when he called needing to vent about his current situation. And here he was calling again. He was back in town and asked if I could write him a letter of reference (!?) I told him to come over so we could visit and so I could catch up and put some validity to whatever I might be able to write. He did...and it was both amazing and sad...He was homeless again, at 31, no job, no money, no shelter...He didn't ask me for anything except an ear to listen and a letter of reference (which I wrote later and then called to give him but, of course, his number was invalid). But he affirmed the fact that I had always been there and how good it was to be able to make a few phone calls and track me down (he'd had a previous office number). Touchstone.
Monday morning I checked the phone messages when I got in and there was one from a kid I'd met back in 2005. He has an "old fashioned" name not regularly seen in African-American young men nowadays (akin to "Hubert", "Oliver" or "Wilbur"). I liked this kid when I met him years ago--he had a neat timber to his voice and was really pleasant. He was a "follower" though and within a few weeks got mixed up with the wrong crowd, committed a really stupid crime, and ended up in jail/prison for the next 3+ years. I remembered going out to the jail to visit him each week. I'd pull him out of his pod into the hallway to speak with him and every time--every time--this big lug of a kid would end up with tears running down his face...3+ years without his son, 3+ years without his family, 3+ years without his freedom...When he was released he returned to Covenant House and it was one of the best "just-got-out-of-jail" hugs I'd ever gotten (I'd corresponded with him over the years)...however, within a month he had violated his parole and ended up being taken away, crying, back to prison. He kept in touch with me, tracking me down to whatever office I happened to be in, had me hold on to his official documents, had me work with parole to find him housing upo realese, and as soon as he was released he went on his way. Until Monday morning...
He'd left a number but called again before I could call him back. "Hi Ms. Jen...I have a problem". I joked with him, "I don't hear from you for over 2 years and that's the first thing you say!?" He laughed...but he did have a problem...He and his girlfriend and her kids and his kid were homeless and needing services...in Camden. He had aged out of our program (now 25) but his girlfriend was 21 so I referred him to our Camden site (how Providential that now we have a drop in center in Camden!) We chatted for a few minutes and then ended the call. No long conversation, just an "I need help/Yes, I'll help you" call. Oddly (but affirmingly) he called back later on to say "thank you". Touchstone.
Touchstones...At Covenant House our mission statement says that we will treat our kids with "absolute respect and unconditional love"...and our kids are our kids no matter how old they are. And our kids do test that pledge, that mission, that "criteria of care"...and we don't always hit the mark. We had a kid years ago that, every once in a while, when staff was falling short, used to point to our mission statement as a reminder of how we agreed to treat him by working there (this humbled me many a time!) Not to be prideful, but I feel as if I have proven to be a touchtone by both being there and upholding the absolute respect/unconditional love over the years, not perfectly, but trying my best...If a kid asks, "Is Covenant House genuine? Are they really gonna help me like they say they will?" then I can point to several staff members that can fit the criteria of "touchstone", that pass that test.
As I near the possible end of my employment at Covenant House (it's 50/50 whether they will keep me at this point) I have to trust in the other touchstones there. Who would these kids have turned to if I hadn't been there? Would they have found other resources? Could someone else have helped them?
Perhaps...and I need to accept the fact that Covenant House can and would still operate without me there (if it comes down to that)...but I made a covenant to love them, to care for them, to be there when they need me...and have honored that since November 17, 1997...Not sure how to transition out of that...And it seems odd that within the last few months many young people from the past have come "out of the woodwork" to reconnect, to test and see if that covenant is still genuine and for real...touchstones...I'm humbled to be one...
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