On My Knees

We have a lay minster who I really am challenged by even time he preaches. One of the things I look forward to most is hearing his testimonies about answered prayer. Today's message was ALL about prayer and he told a story that really spoke volumes about how God wants to be depended on in ALL things. The pastor went to Chick-fil-a and was studying the menu. Apparently at Chick-fil-a they have a milkshake menu...undecided, the pastor asked the Lord if he should have a milkshake...and then determined that the caloric intake would not be to his benefit and ordered a lemonade instead. He sat down with his meal, content that he'd been obedient and made the right decision about the milkshake. The a manager came out saying, "Ray?...Ray?" and was holding a drink. "Are you Ray", the manager asked, "Is this your milkshake?" The pastor said no but he wished he was Ray. After a chuckle, the manager continued around the store looking for Ray...only to return to the pastor after a few minutes, hand him the milkshake, and say, "This one's on the house". I love it when God has a sense of humor!

The challenge I mulled over on the way home was my prayer life in general...do I pray for the mundane? Yes...but moment by moment? Over what to eat? What to buy? How to dress? Not really...The pastor also challenged us with praying more "fervent" prayers which, according to James 5, avail much. I looked up fervent to find the Greek origin and found that there was none listed...So to Webster's I went="feverish", or to do something with intensity. I can be a passionate prayer...but I'm not always so. And I found that the more I thought about it, the more I didn't like that about myself.

I dug out a "book" I started back in 2001 to record prayer requests. I'd number each request and then repeat the number when it was answered or make a "still waiting" category. I prayed for family members, I prayed for tax returns...I prayed that certain girls at Covenant House weren't pregnant, I prayed for Mark to find success at work (Real Estate days)...The thing that struck me were that most of these prayers were specific. Over the years I've even had family members contact me to put something "in the book". And I marveled over which prayers were answered how and those that I was still waiting on to be answered. I still visit the book and write down requests when asked, but I tend to keep a running list in my head/heart.

But are the prayers fervent? I decided to do something I don't normally do (since my usual prayer time is in the car) just to see if my mind/heart would be more in tune. I got down on my knees, knelt over the window seat in our living room, and began to pray out loud. As predicted, the mind assaults began--the dog came over to sniff me, I realized that I was missing out on prime sun time since it's supposed to rain later, my knees hurt, I wanted a cup of coffee...but as I started to commune with the Lord with a lot more concentration and a lot more passion that my normal day to day prayers, I began to weep over the people and circumstances I was praying for; my sister-in-laws full and speedy recovery from a recent surgery, safety and changed hearts for the kids at work, my marriage, to get rid of the bitterness I still harbor towards my former boss, that my husband will come to church, that I can fully trust God with the future of my time with Covenant House. Does weeping equal passion? Fervency? Maybe...but what it did signify to me is that the outcomes of all those things are not dependent on ME; they are dependent on God and THAT'S why we pray...because we recognize that we can't do it ourselves, that HE is greater and able and mighty...that we NEED Him.

So I've given myself a personal challenge to get on my knees more, literally. There's humility in putting yourself in an uncomfortable position and then forcing yourself to let that feeling decrease or become less of a distraction but focus on your heart, mind, and soul pouring out before the Lord. May my (and your) effective and fervent prayers avail much, as the Lord wills.