A Little Praise...

Last week we asked students to volunteer to participate in a neighborhood cleanup in Pleasantville. A small group of dedicated students turned out to walk a few miles along busy highway and quiet neighborhoods to pick up all kinds of refuse (I even found a pair of discarded panties! EW!) There was a really neat feeling of camaraderie, community, giving back, etc. and I heard few complaints, if any=another affirmation that the kids with whom I work are amazing!

This kid, however, was one of the best surprises of all.

This young person had been "randomly" coming to class over the last 2 months, giving lame excuses as to why he was late, couldn't make it, left early, etc. In short, 18 years old and acting like it! Still, the fact that he chose to clean up Pleasantville for the afternoon gave me some hope. Right before this picture was shot I was asking him what he wanted to be when he "grew up". He said a gymnast (!?) and proceeded to tell me how he liked to tumble. We continued to chat for a while and I lavished on the praise of how proud I was that not only did he show up to clean, he cleaned the whole time without complaint. I declared him "a delight" and hoped that it would help motivate him to continue to come to school.

The next day we held interviews for some students in his class who the staff felt had "fallen off" a bit (poor attendance, lack of motivation ,etc). Because of his poor attendance, he was included. After telling this youth about himself, we asked if he had anything he wanted to say. He looked at me and stated something like, "Ms. Jen, you made a comment about me smoking weed. I don't do that. I know you think that, but I really don't do that because I'm on probation and I'd get in trouble. So it hurt my feelings that you would say that to me". (GULP!) I felt my face redden and then proceeded to apologize for making the assumption. I thought long and hard about it afterwards and really admired this youth for having the courage to speak up for himself.

He returned Monday. I affirmed his confronting me about myself. The day started and ended with hugs and "extra" praise when he showed up on time and stayed for the whole day--and the days that follwed as his attendance was perfect!. Lots of "We're so proud of you!"s and "We love that you are here!"s from all the staff. At our staff meeting today we agreed that this young person has (hopefully!) turned over a new leaf.

But don't we all strive for praise? For affirmation that the things we do (or don't do) are good and right and noteworthy? Is all that it takes consistent affirmation that "We love you!", "You can do this!", "I'm sorry--you were right!", and "I love that you stayed till the end of the day!"? For this youth, perhaps so--time will tell. But I do know that ANY praise is never wasted...and any small thing I can be the "head cheerleader" about for a young person to help motivate them I will cheer for!

I know how a "Well done!" or "Nice job!" from a boss inspires me! May we always strive to find even the smallest thing to praise in others...