More from Elsewhere

We were telling tidbits from working with the kids yesterday and I recalled a few more humorous stories...Enjoy!

I go into our courtyard, kid from another country is staring up in the air.
Kid to me: What is this that's happening?
Me to kid: What?
Kid to me: (signaling to the sky) All this? What is happening here?
Me to kid: It's called fog.
Kid to me: I have never seen this before. Is it ok? It won't hurt us?
Me to kid: No, you're fine. The clouds are coming down to you.
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(same kid)
Kid to me: Ms. Jen, I want to work in the casino and be a sample.
Me to kid: A sample? A sample of what?
Kid to me: You know, a sample of someone else.
Me to kid: I don't understand.
Kid to me: A sample...like, when you dress up as someone else?
Me to kid: You mean an impersonator.
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(another kid from another country)
Kid to me: Ms. Jen, why do you have spots?
Me to kid: Spots?
Kid to me: (pointing to my arm and face) Yes, you are covered in spots.
Me to kid: Those are called moles.
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(same kid)
Kid to me: Ms. Jen, when you are cold you get, what is it called, goose zits?
Me to kid: Goose bumps.
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(as told to me by a co-worker, driving through residential section Margate with the windows down in summertime)
Kid to worker: What's that smell?
Worker to kid: What smell? I don't smell nothing.
Kid to worker: It doesn't smell bad...You don't smell that?
Worker to kid after looking around and seeing landscapers: It's grass, man! They just cut the grass!
Kid to worker: Really? Ain't no grass where I live.
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(When I was doing Risk Reduction work)
Kid to me: Ms. Jen, what's at the end of a woman's vagina?
Me to kid: At the end? You have a cervix and then a uterus.
Kid to me: So what am I hitting?
Me to kid: The cervix.
Kid to me: Can I bust through it?
Me to kid: I doubt it.
Kis to me: Ima try to bust through it--I bet I can.
Me to kid: I don't need to know about any of that...
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(still doing Risk Reduction)
Pregnant Kid to me: Ms. Jen, how am I gonna pee when the baby is coming out?
Me to kid: You just pee like normal.
Kid to me: But won't the baby block my pee? I don't want to pee on the baby.
Me to kid: Huh?
Kid to me: Don't it all come out the same place?
Me to kid: Are you serious? You have 3 openings down there--one for pee, one for babies, sex, and your period, and one for poop.
Kid to me: Really? I never knew that!
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Me to kid: Hey congrats! I heard W_____ had her baby!
Kid to me: Yeah, she had it a few days ago.
Me to kid: That's great, Daddy! What's the baby's name?
Kid to me: Man, I don't even know. Soemthing that begins with an L.
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