A son of sorts

A few weeks ago we had a BBQ at the site. I invited our local alumni to come and say hello if they could spare the time. I kinda knew in my heart this kid would come...and he did.

This is the kid from the Birthday Cake post back in 10/11. A young man I've known all (almost) 21 years of my time at Covenant House. A "son" of sorts. We met when he was 18 and I recall that although he never gave me any particular grief, he was a handful. Over the years we settled into a comfortable and respectful relationship. I didn't always agree with his choices but I loved him anyway. I visited him in jail, was present when his first child was born, and brought his family to court. I've gone to the hospital with little notice on more than one occasion to see him. I've held him while he cried. He shows up in the wee hours at our sleep out events because he lives close and, well, I guess he just can't resist my texts of, "Come over and hang out with Ms. ___ and me!" because he always shows. 

Over the summer he sent me a text. "Ms. Jen, call when you can", or something like that. I called. He said another former resident had reached out to him for my contact info and he wanted to know if it was okay to give it out. As I reflected on this later, my heart swelled with pride and affirmation for this young man, that for all the years I did my best to look out for him (and still do), he was looking out for me. I did thank him for that on the call and he assured me that he would never give out my contact information without asking first. Again, nice that someone has my back. 

When I first got this picture I immediately focused on the plethora of wrinkles surrounding my eyes, the grey wisps of hair escaping from the stupid headband that has been gracing my head for the last few months trying to hide my awful still-growing-out-bangs, and that big, stupid mole front and almost center that has been there forever but that another kid pointed out recently with, "When did that happen???"

Of course, now I relish the joy on my (older) face. I love this kid. LOVE him. Within the boundaries, yes, and always within the realm of profession...but he shows up. He answers the call to "Come!", he responds. In short, there was something we (not just me!) did years ago and consistently over the years that caused this "kid" to decide that "the Cov" was a safe place to return to from time to time. He knows that when we ask him to come visit, he'll be embraced, loved, accepted, with no judgement...much the same I supposed that many would do with any of their own children. 

Having no kids of my own, it's nice to have a "son" of sorts. I actually have many. Daughters too. It's a rather "safe" arrangement--I do what I can, I don't have to get too involved, there are boundaries in place that keep the relationship on a certain level that protects both him and me. But whenever I see him, whenever he shows up just because I asked him to, there is that overwhelming surge of unconditional LOVE that erupts from the depths of my soul. THIS is the "son" (among many") that God gave to me 21 years ago to care for and love...and I'm 100% okay with that.