Peppercorns

One of the definitions of integrity I've always valued is that "integrity is what you do when no one else is looking". To that end I've consistently aimed to be a "woman of integrity", in the little things as well as the larger things.  I'm not perfect in this for sure but it's something for which I strive. Examples: When I work from home, I really try to work the entire time so I'm not robbing my employer. When I'm presenting information to someone and it's a sticky subject, I rehearse it in a way so that it is true without being deceptive. If I make a mistake, I tell on myself rather than try to cover it up. The result of all this over the years is that people tend to trust me, not just with information but with the content of my character.

Proverbs 11:3 says, "The integrity of the upright guides them but the unfaithful are destroyed by their duplicity". I find more often than not that many people could care less about integrity and the value of being known as "upright". There are few people within my circles that I trust 100% and the majority are usually folks that have fallen short on the integrity standard. They are those that cut corners, gossip, don't think twice about lying, or even dabble in illegalities. Still, I try not to point fingers...after all, I'm known to go over the speed limit and blow through a stop sign from time to time, even when nobody is looking.

I was shopping recently and was in a hurry to get home. As I unloaded all my bags into the back of the car, I noticed a container of peppercorns lying in the bottom of the cart. I picked it up and looked at it, realizing that I'd left it in the cart instead of putting it on the belt and therefore, had not paid for it. A few choices flashed at once:

• Toss it into my bag
• Leave it in the cart
• Check the receipt to make sure I hadn't paid for it and if not, do one of the above
• Go back in an pay for it

Later on I shared this with someone and asked, "What would you have done?" "Considered it a bonus", came the reply (URGH!)  "What did I do?" I asked.  "You went back in and paid for it". "YES! I'm not going to steal!"  Would me tossing a container of peppercorns into my bag rock the world? No one would have known but me and the Lord...but that's enough for me.  I would not have been able to live with myself and I know me--I would have felt miserable and gone back to confess, which would probably have led to a heap of trouble. Or not. When I went back in to pay for the peppercorns, I told the checker, "This was in the bottom of my cart and I realize I didn't pay for it. can I pay for it here?" (I was at the courtesy counter). Now, in my pridefullness of doing the right thing, I wanted her to look at me in amazement, aghast that someone was honest, and give me a huge affirmation. "Yeah", she said. Pride falleth. So I paid the $1.XX for the peppercorns and walked out, integrity intact.

Years ago during YouthBuild it was nearing the end of the school day. It was absolutely pouring rain--teeming, as my grandmother would say. I was hanging out with a few of the kids when one asked me for a ride home. We did not have an agency vehicle at the time and I told the student so. "But you have a car", they argued. "Yes, but I can't take you in my car. We have a policy for that". All the kids jumped in. "We won't tell!" "You gonna let him get soaked?" "It's only a couple of blocks!" And the clincher, "Who's gonna know?"

"I will know...and further, what will that say to you guys about me? That I'm above following the rules? That I can be sneaky and deceptive?" and I went on and on about integrity while they rolled their eyes. They just didn't get it, at least at the time.  One of those young people, though, is the one I've discussed before in "Chapters"...and he's often regarded me as someone he can trust. So I'd like to believe that walking in integrity in that moment planted a seed.

Proverbs 10:9 says, "The man of integrity walks securely but he who takes crooked paths will be found out".  I don't know about you but I'd much prefer walking a straight and narrow path...even from my car to the counter at Shoprite to pay for a container of peppercorns. Even when we think no one if looking, God always sees. And it's His opinion of me that matters most.