A few weeks ago I met with one of our donors whom I barely knew. During the course of conversation, she informed me that her daughter, who is 10+ years younger than I, is a cloistered nun somewhere in the Northeast (!?) I met with the donor again recently and began to ask some questions out of ignorance of this whole facet of religious living which I didn't really know existed or at least, would not have believed still existed today.
She is allowed 2 visits a year and only from behind the bars. The purpose of the bars is to lock the world out, not keep the sisters in. She is allowed to leave the convent to go to the dentist as needed. I asked about what she was allowed to bring when she entered (underwear and a few books). I asked about personal items (shampoo, etc.) and was told that they shave their heads so shampoo isn't needed. Apparently her daughter is unbelievably happy, content, and affirmed in her decision to live this way. I was dumbfounded and fascinated.
So I did some sleuthing. I learned that there are several cloistered communities within the USA, one right here in New Jersey (who knew!?) Apparently they are allowed to use the internet because almost every one had a website where you could view the daily schedule, view photos, and see what each one was about.
I went to the library and checked out "Unveiled", a really great book written by a journalist on the varying degrees of "nunness", from cloistered to liberal and everything in between. She spent 4 years traveling around to different orders and convents learning about traditions, ideas, community, and hearing story after story. I can barely put it down.
No, I don't want to become a nun. Besides not being a Catholic, I am very happily married and couldn't imagine not being, at least not to Mark. But you readers that faithfully follow this blog know that in the past I've admired and respected "devoutness", the ones of faith that seem to "go all out" for the Lord, sacrifice to a huge degree, and, I keep coming back to this, wear a uniform.
I contemplated this on a run the other morning. What are the things in life that distract me from living a fuller life for Christ, that keep me from deepening my faith, etc. I started with the visual and mentally went from room to room in our house, thinking that if I chose a life of total simplicity, what would go? Pictures on the wall=gone. Little knick knacks here and there=no problem. My smelly candles? Hmmm...well, I argued, maybe I could justify them and use them to light to worship or pray...Microwave? Outta here...pots and pans? We could probably get by on fewer...Table cloth? Dish drain? 8 plates? 10 wine glasses? The goofy ambrosia bowl in the cabinet I got at a yard sale before we got married and still haven't used for anything!? Gone gone gone.
Upstairs, in my mind, I went to my closet...This wasn't too tough because I don't love clothes. I could probably get by with 3 pairs of pants, a pair of jeans, a sweater, 2 cardigans, 4 shirts, a nice dress, a dress for work, a blazer, a sweatshirt, um, sweatpants, uh...probably need an old outfit for grungy work stuff, a bathing suit (well, maybe not--I guess it's vain to tan), oh, I'd need some skirts for warmer weather...geez...
Then I thought of me...could I shave my head? Oddly, since I'd trade a habit for a scarf (maybe 2 or 3 in varying colors), I thought this would be doable. No makeup? Easy...No jewelry besides my wedding/engagement/10th anniversary rings? Well, I'd probably need at least small gold posts to distract from my scarfed head...and of course I always wear a cross...and since the shirts I'd choose to keep have varying necklines I'd probably have to keep more than one...eh...
Funny...all that "stuff" is so NOT important or even close to the things that distract me the most from going all out for the Lord. Attitudes, addictions, habits, fear of stupid things--that's what gets in the way. And yeah, if I lived in a cloistered setting unable to indulge in some things, that may help...If everything else was stripped away from my life and all I had left was God, I can assume that He'd be my only focus. But I bet I'd still get in my own way.
I don't think it's any accident that I'm marveling at all this (of course not!) God's little small way of nudging me before He has to resort to banging my over the head. I get it, I feel it, and I'm not ignoring it. I'd rather break my own will than for Him to have to break it. Over the last few months I've taken a few small steps here and there...just as long as I keep going forward...
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