So...?

Each week I search the archives of the past 7 days to determine if I have anything to blog about...Sometimes, if it feels right or inspiring, I blog about something the same day it happens...or other times something continues to gnaw at my spirit until I've posted whatever is in my heart to share.

So for the last few weeks, many weeks in fact, I've been scratching my head...? Nothing major going on, no huge inspiring stories or insights...And for those of you who consistently read this, perhaps you've been disappointed. Well don't!

I praise God for the "steady seasons"...no big mountaintops but no low valleys either...a steady walk, easy pace, maybe a little stumble or quickening of the steps here and there...but steady nonetheless.  I welcome these times, knowing that the bigger moments will come, whether good or bad. I know that God is still working, giving me space to sit with the day to day "stuff" until He reveals something new, whether work related, marriage related, or just "life related". So, an update of sorts will be the post of the day.

WORK: We've entered into the alleged "busy season", getting ready for our Night of Broadway Stars event in Newark AND, due to some changes of the guards at our Philly site, the Night of Broadway Stars event in Philly, which I am helping with in a major way. We had our Young Professionals Sleep Out last Friday in New York (I slept inside on a bench in the dining room=too old to sleep out since "young professionals" are under 40!), we have the Legislative Sleep Out in April, and Moms Sleep Out the first week of May (then the NOBS events the second and third weeks in May). I continue to do my regular stuff (donors, smaller events, speaking in churches, etc.) Am I overwhelmed? Nope...

CHURCH/FAITH: God continues to reveal bits and pieces of things...I have been chewing on the idea of writing a study (for me, perhaps for others at some point) about the fruit of the Spirit which I've been writing in my head during my runs in the morning. I've also been reading Romans and have discovered some cool stuff I've probably read a billion times before but, hey--stuff jumps out every so often or God pokes, "Read that again--I want you to get this!"

ME: I've recently lost 13 pounds by putting aside some unnecessary things...I've also started utilizing some of my sister-in-laws "Turbo Blast" DVDS, mostly on the mornings it's been snowing, raining, or icy. Just something different, keep my body guessing, and trying to be smarter about my fitness as I get older. Yay for me...My latest passion has been playing Scrabble against the computer and even though I've won a few times, I am learning all kinds of new words I didn't know existed (watch out, Mam! The crown will be mine!)

MARRIAGE: Probably the steadiest of all...even amidst trials. I guess this is the biggest news to share and I'd tinkered with blogging it specifically but just haven't quite felt up to it. About 2 months ago I began to notice spots of blood on the floor downstairs.  I figured maybe a cat had sliced a paw on a sliver of glass or ceramic (I tend to break things...a lot) or maybe Marni had been chewing on the skin tag on her paw.  Then I began to notice Marni, who will be 10 this year, straining as she went "potty". Thinking "UTI", we brought her to the vet, gave a urine sample, put her on antibiotics, and waited for the symptoms to abate.

Only they didn't...they got a little worse. 2 weeks ago the vet called me about the finding of "transitional cells" in her urine, more than should be there. Of course it could mean all different things but their primary concern was cancer. Off to the internet I went and came away disheartened, learning that if she did indeed have bladder cancer, the prognosis wasn't ever good. We took her back the next week for X-rays/CAT scan and they found a suspicious mass in her bladder, 99% sure it's cancer but would we "like to go see an oncologist and have it biopsied for $1,500?" Uh, no...She's currently on "doggie hospice"=pain meds, too many treats, over the top love and affection, and I even allow her upstairs at night to sleep by our bed. Could be weeks, could be months...I keep finding more and more blood, the tumor is affecting her ability to eliminate any boldly function well...but her tail still wags, she still shows us her belly, and if I had to guess, she's pretty darn happy.

I put all this in the marriage section because I knew "this" would happen eventually...maybe not cancer, maybe not to Marni, but "this" is the point in time when a decision or decisions need to be made, when all the different factors about a situation need to be analyzed, considered, and a unified front rendered..."Team Williams" needed to come together.  Mark and I don't always agree on things...but for this, my prayer, before we even sat down to talk about it all, was that we could do so peacefully, intelligently, and end up on the same page.  Not knowing what may be ahead, I wanted us to be able to support each other on the same side, not end up with any kind of resentments because we did or did not take a course of action that the other did not agree with or support.

I did not fear this process...I did not have a pit in my stomach when we began to talk it through...Because one of the positive things we've continued to do throughout our 16+ years is talk and "what if" and share stories of what others have gone through with a thousand different situations and how we would do things differently or similarly.  So before we even sat down, I already had peace that we'd end up with the best plan for us and for Marni, and we did. Because I know Mark...and I know that God has given us a pretty decent dose of "good sense" when it comes to hard decisions. Sometimes I give more, sometimes Mark does.  And even if we don't agree, we never criticize, "I told you so", or keep records of wrongs--that's not love.  So we brave this battle together and support each other through what will likely be a "worse" time in our dedication of a lifetime of "for better, for worse"es. 

And that's my update...steady as she goes...