So I decided to go to motorcycle school...For those of you who don't recall (or perhaps I've been a bit mum about this in my postings--sometimes I can't remember what I post on Facebook versus what I blog about!?) Mark surprised me with a Harley last year for our 15th wedding anniversary. I was not thrilled. I had no desire, no motivation, no secret thrill factor I wanted to fulfill=nothing in my being that wanted to climb aboard this thing. Still...I know Mark got it for me so it would be something we could do together...Take a leisurely Sunday drive to nowhere...stop at a greasy spoon for lunch...be that totally raw couple together cruising around South Jersey...YEAH! How could I be upset or say no to that?
The bike sat in the garage all winter...and most of the beginning of spring. I began to look into motorcycle safety courses but they were expensive and took all day on both weekend days (when would I clean? when would I run?) So I asked Mark to teach me. I trust him, he knows me, and I felt like I would be in good hands.
We started out in May in our garage...Parts of the bike, part of the "turn it on" process, and the "friction zone". Mark was great--answered all my 9,000 questions, was patient, took his time with MY time. A good first lesson.
Moving on, we ventured out to our church parking lot a few times. Basic "go"...Epic failings but I kept trying. I even lost my balance and fell off at one point, breaking the side mirror in the process. I wasn't comfortable, didn't love it or even like it...but I wanted to try.
Summer...1 million degrees...long sleeves, high school parking lot...I shifted gears for the first time ever on anything...cranked the bike up to 20 mph (YEAH!)...back and forth, back and forth...Did I want to learn to turn? NO! Shift to third gear? UH UH! Sometime around mid-July, the bike was parked and I prayed for rain or commitments on Saturdays...scared, nervous, in my own way.
I'm kinda little and boney=fall over and break something. This bike is BIG and heavy and I felt totally out of control on it. God bless Mark...He was so patient and gentle and tolerant of me during our lessons. He'd push a bit but not much...He knows me...and I love him for that.
However, and not to any fault of Mark's, I was complacent to let the bike sit in the garage...Or was I? After all, this was supposed to be an investment into learning something that would grow us closer as a couple (eventually), right? How could I just let it go?
So I signed up for motorcycle school...I bit the bullet. I paid the $, made peace with myself that I would not run for 2 mornings in a row (horrors!), the house would not get clean for one week, I'd have to pay bills on a Monday, etc. But it kept eating away at me that I was dragging my feet on this.
So last Friday I went. 12 people...We were never formally introduced, I can't even remember every one's name. But here we are below...
Most of these folks had been on bikes before...some for many years and just wanted to be trained out of bad habits. One guy I actually found in another group photo on the website so I'm guessing maybe he failed the class and decided to take it over--who knows! But there I am in the midst.
The first day I learned (again) the parts of the motorcycle, rules of the road, and proper riding equipment. I realized in horror that the 3/4 helmet I have won't protect my teeth from being knocked out, my jaw from being broken, or my chin from being shredded. Yikes! I drove home with my nerves humming.
Saturday we began with drills on the bike. Even though I'd ridden before, I figured it would take me some time to get used to actually going again. I ended up being the lame that would stall, start to get frazzled, and stall again about 6-9 times before being able to go...a long line of bikes behind me. Eh...
We learned braking, turning, weaving...I wasn't doing too bad. Not great but not too bad. After lunch we did more classroom stuff and then took our written exam=1 wrong for me. Head knowledge, yes...Skills...?
Sunday started off with some new drills, mainly how to do a U turn and how to avoid an obstacle. They made us go into this little box and do 2 U turns back to back, all while maintaining speed and leaning the bike over and turning the handlebars the entire way around, trying to avoid crossing over the lines. Basically a figure 8. Hmmm...the first time I tried it I made a big D and almost ran over the instructor=fail. Then I was supposed to go directly to the next area, speed up, and at the last minute the other instructor was supposed to raise an arm to indicate which way to swerve to avoid smashing into an imaginary school bus...or he'd raise both arms to indicate that I was supposed to stop suddenly. The first few times I wasn't going fast enough to swerve the way I was supposed to...So on the next try I assumed I'd be swerving to the right or left...only to have the instructor raise both hands to STOP which I wasn't ready for=panic=forgot what to do=smash directly into the imaginary bus and almost hit the instructor...=FAIL!
Then, all of a sudden, it was time to take the test! Yikes! We'd be tested on 4 things: the U turns in the box, swerving to avoid the "bus", braking suddenly, and ability to handle curves. I made sure I wasn't first in line. Thankfully, the first 3 drills were all in a row. I did the U turns the best I could, avoided smashing into the bus, and thought I'd braked well (turns out I failed that section, braking 16 ft. past the standard braking distance). Thankfully, I'd been ok with practicing the curves and when it came time to test I just went for broke and sped through as fast as I was comfortable. Later on the instructor said, "You came zooming through there!"
After the testing was done, all 12 of us sat in 2 rows no our bikes, waiting...The instructors compared notes, wrote some things, and I wondered how they were going to break the news. One guy trotted over and announced, "You all passed!" WHAT!? Really??? I kinda sat in that news for a moment or two, letting it sink in. I really did NOT think that I had passed that test...but somehow I had. Wow...
Back in the classroom, I learned that I had gotten one of the worst grades (you can only get up to 20 points and I had 14 total for stuff I did wrong) but at the end of the day, I got all my paperwork to take to the DMV to get my license to drive a motorcycle.
Except there is NO WAY I'm ready to go out on the road. If I felt 1% confident about riding before this course, I'm about 2% now. One instructor even told me regarding my speed, "You can't be on the road going the speed that you're going". So I will continue to practice in parking lots until...well, until.
So why do I post this? What does this have to do with "keeping covenants"? Part of (or the only?) reason Mark even bought me the bike was so that we could have something to do together. We each have our own "things"--he's into sports, I like to read, he stays up late, I go to bed early, he works nights, I work days, he's spontaneous and adventurous, I prefer order and routine. There is little that is "ours", which I'm not saying is a bad thing--it just "is"...yet, in the spirit of the covenant of marriage, how can I argue with trying to learn something that can be a part of "us"? Irony--I initially typed "wanting" instead of "trying"...Do I want to learn to ride a motorcycle? Well...it wasn't on my list of goals for life or desires in my heart...But what I have learned after 16 years of marriage (next week!) is that sometimes I need to be pushed past my comfort zone...sometimes making a sacrifice of personal desires for the betterment of something or someone else is worth it...and to try and make a deeper connection with my beloved, my partner, my lover, my husband, best friend, etc. through learning to ride the massive Harley in the garage? Yeah...worth it! (and it brings out a little repressed edginess in me too!)
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