I think one of the coolest things about my job is that it often connects me with believers and other people in ministry. Part of what I do is seek out churches who can help our kids, either with in-kind gifts, monetary donations, opportunities, volunteers, or, frankly (and this is my aim, not necessarily what the rest of the team does) through prayer. When it comes to our Camden site, which is my primary aim now, it has been a slooooow go trying to build support to keep the doors open. It costs about $10,000 a month to operate, including rent, staff, resources, gas for the van, etc. And while I rejoice when a church or person in the community drops by with some canned goods to fill our pantry or a bag or two of hygiene supplies to stock our cabinet, I struggle with the pressurized chase for the "big thing" (grant, company sponsorship, philanthropist, etc) that will ensure our existence henceforth. We learned yesterday that a major grant we'd applied for through a huge, notable company had been denied...our Christmas appeal yielded few responses...events to build friends and support haven't produced much fruit...That human part of me begins to panic every now and again and, in desperation, I try to think of every possible thing we can do to stay afloat...
Early in the day, I met w/ our pastoral minister for coffee and a chat (he's been out for a while on medical leave). As we caught up and I confessed my frustration with the lack of support, he kinda shrugged. "Williams, "he said, "what are you worried about? If we're meant to be in Camden, we'll be in Camden. Just do the work and trust that God will bring the support. If He doesn't, then we're not supposed to be there. There's nothing you can do". A "humble" for sure...and a good reminder.
From there I went to meet a minister at a local church in Camden we had connected with a few months back. I didn't have an "ask" in mind which I think surprised the pastor, a really cool lady. She talked about how she became involved with us and I told her my story as well. I finally said, "I'm really here to see what we can do for you", which caught her off guard. We discussed getting our kids involved in some of their programs, me speaking and informing folks of what we do, and how to collaborate for the kingdom. It felt right. We discussed the spiritual nature of the work and my desire to involve our kids with places of worship to heal their souls, connect them with believers who can love and mentor them beyond what we can provide 5 days a week. At one point she grabbed my hands and said, "Let's pray!" and we did.
On my way out, she gave me a tour of their beautiful building, acquired 3 years ago. With humility, she pointed out the incredible ways God had provided this and that when funds were low: a carpenter who made the bathroom stalls at no cost, a union crew who did all the work in the sanctuary for free, a company that had donated their giant freezer where they keep food to feed the hungry, a man with know-how who installed their stained glass windows. I felt rich with assurance and humility at how God provided for them.
When I got in the car to zoom back to Atlantic City, I had the radio on a local Christian station. The pastor was talking about how God provides...how He can either choose to take a place of lush abundance away from us or create gushing streams in the desert where things seem barren. I perked up...He went on to challenge us to remember what God has already done...and to trust in what He is doing now and what He can do in the future. It was such an obvious affirmation...I broke down in tears of humility and prayed out loud...The kind of prayers where you can hardly speak because you are just so overwhelmed with the greatness of who God is, the peaceful assurance that He is in control, and the gratitude that He faithfully shows up in the most unexpected places when your faith is waning. Further, I was brought down low by the knowledge that I even had the eyes, ears, and heart to recognize all of this...but, lest I become prideful, pleaded, "Help me in my unbelief"...in those times where I see nothing but barren desert for Camden, when the rejections keep coming, when we wonder how much longer we can continue to serve those suffering children of the street. I was undone...in a good way.
I think one of the best parts of all this is that when I got back to AC and made a few rounds to others on our leadership team (one of my aims for the New Year--NOT A RESOLUTION! JUST AN AIM!--is to do more face-to-face contact instead of emailing, texting, or picking up the phone) I was able to share the gist of what had happened. And knowing that I work with people of faith, even on varying levels, made sharing it a joy and, hopefully, an affirmation to them as well.
God has provided to Covenant House in the past for sure...I've seen some amazing, weird, "I-can't-even-begin-to-believe-this" miracles...God does provide for us each and every day...and, if He wills it to be so, He will provide for our little operation in Camden as well. Perhaps our stream in the desert is a mere trickle I can't yet see...I want faith to both be thankful for the stream, the waterfall, or (why not think big!?) the giant wave of blessings to come...
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