Time to Be a Big Girl

It's been a labor of no love for the last 3 years=growing out my bangs. I went from this stunning beauty below...

to this skunk-haired monstrosity.

After Year 1 of "Operation Grow Out", still saturating my hair with Sun-In on every beach or backyard deck sitting, my hair began to break at the scalp (yikes!) and I was advised by a multitude of "hair people" to stop coloring my hair.  I took their advice to heart and relented, thus, Skunk Head. The process has not been great. But I've stuck with it.

Not too bad...not great. Mark didn't like the way my face was framed. I wasn't jazzed on the looooong process of letting the color fade out and all the grey hairs contrasting greatly against a now mottled light brownish color.

Eh....spring brought a sort of resolution that I wasn't gonna try too hard. Let it just be...and keep growing. 

But summer was a straight up mess. I resolved to wearing headbands, as they covered most of the grey and kept the "I'm not sure what to do with these" bangs our of my face. I needed help. 

I consulted my sister in law who always looks decent and she referred me to her "girl" at the salon. I had the info and waited...and waited...and waited. I was scared to make an appointment, as my only experience with hair cutting/styling/coloring had been chain places where they hire beauty school graduates and my endless bottles of Sun-In. "Holly", my sister in law's girl, worked in a salon, a place for grownups with money, a place where they did hair and eyebrows and nails and makeup, a place where you could get your hair blow dried or "blown out" for the cost of groceries for a week. A place that knew a thing or two about a thing or two about hair. And I was scared to death. 

I decided that Labor Day Weekend would be it. I called to make an appointment...and Holly was booked. I asked to be put on the waiting list and concluded that Labor Day Weekend wasn't the right time. A few weeks later the receptionist called me on a Saturday that they'd had a cancellation. I received the message too late, so I stayed on the waiting list. I called for Friday, October 12th because I knew I'd be off that day=no appointments. Oh well. I'd have to wait.

EXCEPT that 2 days before the 12th I got a call--there was an opening...did I want it? I gulped and said yes.

I told no one. Not even Mark. The day of the appointment was the day before we were going away overnight for a family wedding so I was busting around trying to pack and clean the house. My appointment was at 11:30. I drove there and walked into a cute little comfy place, announced my arrival, and took a seat. During the 15 minute wait I shook my leg like I was about to get surgery. I had so much nervous energy of what was about to happen I could barely contain it. In some ways I felt really stupid and silly--people do this every day! For years! I guess me fear was in the unknown--what would I look like? Would I look like me? Would I hate it and then have to spend more time growing out another failed hair style/color, etc? And especially, I didn't want to be the cause of talk at the wedding--this was my niece's big day--not mine to steal the show (whether the hair was a success or not!)

I finally sat down with Holly, pulled my mess out of the hair clip, and told her I had no clue what I wanted. She began to run her fingers through my hair in a very caring way as I detailed what I definitely did NOT want and my journey over the last 3 years. No major change, try to hide the grey, healthy cut, blend in the bags, lighten the brown, etc. She called co-workers over to marvel over my hair ("Isn't this great? Her hair is so healthy!") ("What do you think about XYZ?") She showed me pictures of what she could do. She mentioned a treatment they could do to keep my hair straight, some kind of Beta45#%*DVUSP for $250 (no thank you!). She mentioned highlights which initially I was dead set against because I didn't want to look "stripy". She explained, "That means you don't want too much contrast. But how about something like this?" and showed me a picture that I liked. Subtle. Yes.

For the next 3 HOURS she worked on me. Little bits of foil, painting my hair, 2 rounds with a dryer, 2 rounds of washing and massaging my scalp, some kind of something put in to set it, a pre-cut then a full cut (Wait--what?), and a full on "blow out" that took almost 20 minutes. I'd kept my eyes shut most of the time, wanting a full on TV moment reveal, but I couldn't stand it and peeked. Holly saw me look. "Not a bad job blending in that grey, huh?" Indeed. The more she worked on me the more I relaxed. And finally she was done.

I began to cry. She asked for a hug and I gave her one. She said what a treat it was to work on a "blank pallet" and just make someone more beautiful. We discussed upkeep and cost=manageable, even for cheap-o me. She said, "Now you can go out tonight!" I told her I was going to bed and that I needed to get up early. She told me not to wash my hair so it would look great at the wedding. I told her I was going to run 7 miles in the morning and yes, I would be washing my hair. She encouraged a dry shampoo as an alternative. Um, no. 

So there it is...or was. 

I was really happy not only with the style but with the highlights and all. Plus my hair wasn't that puffy, frizzy mess it usually is. Only 1 person at the wedding noticed. Or if anyone else did, they didn't say anything. No one at work in AC has noticed...or else they haven't said anything. I've had a few teammates from the North who have seen me and have had positive comments--finally, I'm a Big Girl and went to a Big Girl SALON---ooooo!

Except...I don't have a $300 hairdryer with a diffuser to replicate the 20 minute blow out that Holly did. Nor do I have the experience or skill to do a proper "blow out". So the look I was so excited about afterwards? One and done. 

So I've been embracing my natural waves that come with air drying...with mixed emotions. You can see a few flyaway greys up top...Hey, I AM 45. The few times I've tried to replicate a blow out with the $20 mini hair dryer I got from CVS 15 years ago have resulted in mixed results...Maybe Santa will bring me a real blow dryer for Christmas. Even so, the gift I take away from all of this is that I DID IT! I conquered my fear of the Big Girl salon and took a chance on something...and perhaps that will help remind and empower me for the next "thing". YAY ME!